What is whole food and why do we need it?

De-Stressing ICS #272

Make sure your kids get sleep when Staying At Home ICS #271

Checklist for Kids' Needs at Home

Sometimes parents feel overwhelmed by what seem to be the almost endless needs of kids at home. In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, I give a finite checklist of a child's twelve basic needs. If a child gets out of sorts, you can run down this list and see what's missing. When you fix that item, it almost always improves behavior and everyone's satisfaction. 

The first and most important of physical needs is Sleep. Sleep is first because it is in deep sleep that your child's renews their body, digestion, nerves, memory, immune system, hormones, muscles and everything else. Tired kids get easily cranky, uncooperative, inattentive, and unfocused, as do we adults as well. In contrast, well-rested kids can self-entertain, pay attention, learn, cooperate, and sustain interest. Kids today often don't get enough sleep, doing homework, catching a school bus, or trying to grab a little time to themselves on screen or playing with the dog. As a parent, set a good sleep routine to give them at least 8 hours, preferably 9-10 hours. When they are home, let them sleep in, but remember this is no substitute for missed sleep other times. Be sure not to give them too much to worry about. If they are concerned about the Covid-19 virus problem, for example, know that they are aware of it and speak to them about it. Ask them what they are thinking and how they feel. Share your impressions and any actions you are taking. Do this always in age-appropriate language and in reassuring tones. Our children are supposed by nature to know that their parents are keeping them safe, so they can attend to learning, playing and growing. That way we help them to grow into emotionally strong and confident adults. 

   

How dear to us our mothers, the grandmothers to our children

Institute for Creative Solutions Special Announcement  Quick Links www.randyrolfe.com https://amzn.to/3acosXY Join Our List I am pleased to announce that my book Mothers Losing Mothers: Comfort and Reassurance in Your Time of Loss is now available in softcover and also as an eBook on Kindle and through Kindle apps on other devices. Simply go to this link: https://amzn.to/3acosXY. It has been a labor of love to bring these stories and ideas together from mothers who lost their mothers the same year I did, in 2010. Here are some recent readers' comments. "Filled with wisdom and love that highlight the experience of knowing and loving one's mother. Having lost my own mother at a young age, I readily relate. The stories told here will be jewels for all women." Alice Baland, psychotherapist, speaker, daughter, www.EatUptheGoodlife.com.  "An intimate insight into the profound love and bond that exists between mothers and daughters of all ages and into the transformative process that occurs at and after a mother's passing. The stories offer a rare opportunity to share the joys, grief and thoughts of those going through a mother's death." Joanna Infeld, Writer, editor and publisher - KORA PRESS KoraPress.com Here is a short description of Mothers Losing Mothers: A sensitive and powerful portrayal of how to deal with the loss of one of the most cherished relationships of all, between grown daughters and their mothers. A mother and best-selling author who has recently lost her mother shares her own story and the stories of other women who lost their mothers the same year. The loss of our mothers is meant to hurt, in both the divine and natural order. You are not alone in experiencing this loss, as millions are facing the same loss. Mourning is a feeling process which you must honor and allow. There are pitfalls of distraction, self-medication, and misdiagnosis. But there is light at the end of the tunnel, a renewing and spiritual light. These candid stories and the love and wisdom of the author's commentary help move the reader from the Tragedy of loss through seven stages of grief, called the Seven T's, to eventual Triumph. Comfort and reassurance create the space for healing. Each grieving mother tells a different story, but each shares the profound feelings of loss and the need to tell their story, honor their mother, and find ways to transform and renew their lives. The author's insightful commentary is based on her expertise as best-selling author, speaker, family therapist, world traveler, attorney, and theologian.  To purchase a copy, go to this link: https://amzn.to/3acosXY. Please share .Mothers Losing Mothers with all those you care about who have lost their mother or who have a parent going through their final time in this life. They will appreciate your caring and support. Please pass on the word about publication of Mothers Losing Mothers in eBook format for Kindle. It will soon be out in Softcover as well.. I wish you a fine Memorial Day Holiday/ Warm regards, Randy Rolfe You Can Postpone Anything But Love (TM)

Institute for Creative Solutions | 929 South High Street, Suite 150 | West Chester | PA | 19382

Kids At Home? Cook Together ICS #270

When Everyone Is Staying Home

For over 30 years I have been urging members of families  to appreciate how important they are to each other, and now with the ever present reminders that social gatherings are shutting down to try to minimize the impacts of this novel coronavirus, there seems to be a new conversation about what it means to be home with your kids all day, or how to relate to your spouse when you are both searching for new ways to manage work and home responsibilities and concerns in the same home space. Together time is on the rise all of a sudden. 

Here are a few quick tips from years of working with couples and parents to build and keep strong and rewarding relationships. RANDY'S TIPS:

(1) Acknowledge each other when you enter a room where they are, or they enter in a room where you are. Letting someone else know you are aware of their presence is extremely valuable, even if you just saw them 10 minutes ago somewhere else.

(2) Be open about your concerns. Don't let worries build up without letting others know your are feeling stress. They are likely to be a bit more generous with their time and their compassion. If they try to talk you out of it, be sure to own your feelings and listen but don't accept any judgment about your right to your feelings.

(3) Ask. Ask what they are thinking currently about any mutual concerns, like what to do with or for the children, how to pay bills with less money coming in, how to stock up on food, water, or paper goods and so on. Let them know their concerns and wishes are important to you.

(4) Be sensitive to age-appropriate communication with kids and elders. As a parent, part of your job is the shield you child from concerns too complex or unimaginable for their age or maturity. Be sure to let them know that things will sort themselves out okay. For elders, try not to burden them with concerns they can do nothing about. If your the sandwich generation, reassurance both up and down is your role, while you seek to take care of yourself through networks who can support you without taking on extra stress. 

(5) In close quarters, communication means everything, so you won't get on each other's nerves but instead feel supported and loved. At the same time, quiet and time alone must be respected too. Respect each family member's space and time to themselves. 

(6) Keep things in perspective. Things that may be annoying or frustrating on a normal day may need to be overlooked when new ways of being and interacting are emerging.

(7) Whether it's your partner, your child, or your elder, repeat often how you appreciate them, appreciate having them in your life, the little things they do every day, the silly things which amuse you and endear them to you, how you love them, your memories together, and your wishes for their future.

(8) Plan some good excuses to laugh together. Funny movie, silly game, preparation of a favorite meal, funny memories, family albums (real or digital!), a phone call or video call with a beloved relative.

I hope these thoughts help enrich your day!

Stocking up traditions ICS #269

Immune system support ICS #268 Key reminders on how to keep your family strong!