Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dealing with Parental Anger

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

When parents are angry and frustrated, and feel they can’t take any more from their kids, they usually either blow their stack and then regret it later, or try to control themselves by holding it all in. There's another option, to learn healthy, constructive ways to release all that anger and get it out of your body, safely, quickly, and efficiently. My guest this week on Family First is award-winning author and therapist Jude Bijou who says that parents should take a page from their kids' playbook.

Psychotherapist Jude Bijou has found that most kids know instinctively the healthy ways to release anger, sadness, and fear and then feel instant relief. She shows parents how to do this in an appropriate way that won't traumatize their kids' fragile psyches. Her groundbreaking discoveries appear in her book Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life and she will be sharing on Family First the simple principles which have helped countless clients and students.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 Jude Bijou, MA, MFT, is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction® evolved over during her more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her theory is described in her award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. The daughter of pioneering behavioral child psychologist Sydney W. Bijou, Jude launched her private psychotherapy practice in 1982 and also began teaching communication courses through Santa Barbara City College Adult Education. Word spread about the success of Attitude Reconstruction, and Jude soon became a sought-after workshop and seminar leader. Jude is also a longtime student of Eastern philosophy, having immersed herself in the world of meditation and Vedic philosophy when she found something missing in the Western psychology approach. The result is an integrated, holistic approach to viewing ourselves and our relationships.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Always know that you are the parent and your child wants to please you, even though all the feedback you are getting seems to indicate otherwise. With this in mind, you can always take the time you need to get your feelings and thoughts straightened out. You will actually be setting a good example for your child, of patience, and of thinking and getting in touch with feelings, before "acting out" and then regretting it.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Recovering from Emotional Neglect - Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

As a society we are concerned about the trauma of childhood abuse or spousal abuse witnessed by children, about bullying, and about parental neglect, when kids are left on their own with little direction or attention to basic needs. All of these adverse experiences impact our kids into adulthood. They require conscious effort for recovery and public awareness to reduce their occurrence. But what about when none of these things has occurred and yet a person still feels not good enough, or strangely alone and unconnected?

My guest this week on Family First is Dr. Jonice Webb, who has identified and investigated this more subtle kind of abuse, which can go completely unidentified and still have profound effects. She felt compelled to draw awareness to the problem and has as her goal to bring this unseen force from childhood out of the darkness and into the light. She seeks to make people aware of it and its effects and to give them the words to talk about it and the tools to fix it.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Jonice Webb has been a licensed psychologist since 1991. Dr. Webb has worked in a variety of different settings over the course of her career, including a psychiatric emergency service and substance abuse programs. She has been the Director of several large outpatient clinics. For the past eight years, she has been running her private practice in Lexington, MA. Dr. Webb specializes in the treatment of couples and families.

During two decades of practicing psychology, Dr. Webb discovered a factor from childhood which weighs upon people as adults. This factor is extremely subtle. In fact, it’s so difficult to see that it goes virtually unnoticed while it quietly saps a person’s joy in life, causing him or her to struggle with self-discipline, or to feel disconnected and unfulfilled. Dr. Webb gave a name to this invisible factor from childhood. She calls it Emotional Neglect.™ Dr. Webb’s book, “Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect,” was just released in October.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.
Randy's Take Home Tips: When professionals identify problems in adults which stem from their childhood, it's a good idea to see if you are doing all you can to spare your child from those burdens. There is no substitute for sensitivity to the feelings of a child and to your own, and working them through in a caring compassionate comversation. "You Can Postpone Anything But Love" TM says a lot. It is the title of my first book, still available on and, and it is my enduring trademark. When in doubt or quandry in a relationship, think of this idea and you will soon find your solution.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Radical Unschooling?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

We hear a lot about how our educational systems are flawed and are both failing our kids and stressing our economy at the local, state, and federal levels. It may be that we have demanded far too much of our schools. They were designed to teach kids the basic skills they need to function in the modern world. But now as a society we have come to expect them to sit for our children before and after academic hours and to be primarily responsible for teaching basic health, sportsmanship, moral values, compassion for others, and more.
But it’s not working. These functions have been the responsibility of parents throughout history until only a few decades ago. Some parents are taking back that responsibility and my guest this week on “Family First” is a leader in this “unschooling” movement. Dayna Martin is Founder, Creator, and Conference Diva of Life Rocks! an annual conference in New Hampshire where families come together to learn, have fun, and share their experiences.
To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.
Dayna is a pioneer who has been inspiring others in the conscious parenting and unschooling movement for the past decade. Author of "Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun", and her newest book, "Sexy Birth." She has been featured on The Dr. Phil Show, CNN, Nightline, and Fox News. Dayna is a childbirth educator, Doula and attachment parenting advocate who helps families worldwide as, "The UnNanny."
Dayna is a regular contributor to Home Education Magazine. She also recently took over the “Rethinking Everything” Conference in Dallas, Texas. Dayna promotes shifting from control to connection with children and inspires parents to respect their children through partnership parenting. Dayna lives in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, U.S.A., and has four truly free children and husband who she spends her days with in love, freedom and peace. Dayna will share about her belief that Radical Unschooling and attachment parenting can make a more peaceful world.
To hear the program, simply click on  the link above or on this link: Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.
Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: There is a reason kids have parents. Societies have experimented from time to time with doing away with parenting by raising kids in groups with groups of adults watching over them. These experments all fail. All mammals have a period of time where they are dependant on and are taught by their parents to survive and thrive. Our pattern of child-rearing is far older than our species because it works. We have complex social relationships and provisioning skills (now usually devolved to jobs and shopping) which must be learned. The parent-child relationship is meant to work but it only works if you work it. Be proud of your role as a parent and don't try to trim down the time or effort you spend on it or to delegate too much of it to others.Your kids were born to expect good parenting and they depend on you!