Thursday, December 27, 2012

Parenting Resolutions for 2013!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Parenting is perhaps the most important activity in all of human existence. And it can be incredibly difficult, worrisome, and exhausting, as well as exhilarating, fulfilling, and joyful. Are there simple steps which can make it easier on a day to day basis without jeopardizing long term success?

As we approach the new year and round out the hectic family holiday season, I have decided to offer my own thoughts on “Family First.” based on my more than thirty years as a family therapist and educator as well as on my own experience as a parent and on the wonderful feedback I receive from my readers who have honored me by reading my books on parenting. I want to share with you some key steps which are entirely within your control as a parent and which can dramatically ease the burden of parenting while actually gaining more respect and cooperation from your children. I will be sharing the seven secrets from my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, all seven! Please call in!

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe’s mission is to increase people’s awareness of how small choices they make every day have huge effects on their relationships, health, and happiness. Her passion to help create healthy, happy families began when her travels with her family in over 29 countries before age 20 convinced her that all peoples share common goals for their families and that a better world could be created by helping all families to thrive.

After a successful law career, Randy Rolfe founded the Institute for Creative Solutions to pursue her passion. She wrote her first book “You Can Postpone Anything But Love” in 1985 and soon became a sought after media guest expert. In addition to her law degree, Randy holds a Masters in Theology and Certification in Clinical Nutrition. She is author of eight acclaimed books on family, health, and relationships, most recently “Mothers Losing Mothers,” and “The True Secret to Weight Loss Is Energy.” She and her husband have a son and daughter, now grown.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Successful parenting starts in the parent's mind. Make parenting easier and more fun as well as more successful by using your thoughts effectively. I call it "prepared parenting!"



The Tragedy in Newtown CN

Our hearts go out to the families of the dear children and their educators who were so brutally killed at the elementary school near Newtown CN last Friday. We can hardly imagine the pain they must deal with. Also our sympathies go to the first responders, who were traumatized by the events.
  
It is human to try to make sense of the event, to look for causes or messages or lessons. Ending the lives of first graders holds no meaning whatsoever. It is yet one step more vicious than a number of vicious mass murders which have occurred in recent decades.
  
Like our President, we want to look harder now for ways to prevent these events. And a number of ways have been mentioned. I would like to discuss the most prominent.
  
First, is the recurring and contentious theme of gun violence and gun control. Why, in what we consider the most advanced nation in the world and in a time of peace, do we lead the world in killings with guns, so many more than in other advanced countries and even more than less advanced countries? I hope there will be a serious reconsideration of appropriate gun control policy at the city, state, and federal levels to help keep mass-killing weapons out of the hands of those likely to misuse them. It has been noted however that these events have increased even during a time when gun controls have increased.
  
And this takes us to the second discussion, about how to help those who have mental problems serious enough to drive them to suicide or homicide or both. We as a nation are very poor at finding out who might be in such a mental state. We could point to a lack of professionals and accurate diagnosticians who might be able to help a family dealing with a young person who is showing signs of being unable to deal with people in safe, consistent ways.
  
But even more important I think is the breakdown of community and the breakdown of the core family group. It is the adults immediately surrounding a child who are the models and stimulus to a young child.  And too many parents are more absent than on the scene. Likewise, our schools are generally too understaffed and over-burdened to recognize and help those children who avoid or resist the norms of behavior.
  
The fact is that more and more parents lack the time, money, knowledge, and support to meet the real needs of their children. There just is not enough parenting going on. It is not only parenting quality that is at stake but "parenting quantity." That is, time spent with the child, from day one to year twenty-one.
  
Research is showing that many youngsters today, in ever increasing numbers, are just not getting the necessary sequence of interpersonal and other stimulants and environmental factors to get normal brain development. But of course most of such children never turn to extreme violence.
  
This leads to a third discussion which rarely gets mentioned but may be at the heart of these extreme violent acts, Most of the perpetrators in these horrific incidents are on some kind of psychotropic drug. The stupendous growth in the use of these drugs over the last several decades coincides with the growth in the frequency of these incomprehensible acts of violence. 
  
Even the ads on TV list suicidal or violent tendencies as possible side effects for many of these mind and mood altering medications. They wouldn't have to mention these dangerous effects unless the drug researchers had seen them in their studies. Yet people continue to ask for these drugs and physicians seldom monitor people's thought patterns once they are taking the prescriptions.
  
Experts have noted that many of these drugs work by stimulating patients to become more active, which looks like they are becoming more functional, but on the down side, by stimulating them into action, the drugs also make it easier for them to carry out their more desperate feelings. For example, a patient who might otherwise be troubled by suicidal thoughts may be more prone to take action on them. After many if not most of these horrible shootings we learn that the shooter was on some kind of psychotropic medication. We seldom learn which one without major sleuthing.
  
The last area I want to look at is the media. Our 24/7 live coverage of these incidents obviously has the potential to give people who are already feeling the kinds of feelings that lead to violence against self or others new ideas about how and why to commit these crimes. Gun specialists have predicted a rise in sales of the rifle the shooter used in Newtown, ostensibly for self-protection against someone else who already has one or in order to get it before it is outlawed in reaction to the Newtown massacre. For these reasons, some have suggested that law enforcement try not to give so many details about these tragic events. But it seems unlikely that such information can be kept secret.
  
Another influence of the media which I think we need to look at is the constant barrage of advertisements which imply that if you are feeling bad for any reason, a pill will fix it. Depressed? Anxious? Grieving? Feeling disconnected? Shy? Nervous? Anti-social? Disoriented? They have a pill for you. But few studies have been done to find out if these medications really work for any length of time or in what proportion of patients their mental effects are detrimental.  .
  
Meanwhile, these drugs cover up symptoms which otherwise might lead a person to get real help, from someone professional, religious, or simply supportive, to help them through a difficult junction in their life, a period of mourning, a time of confusion, anger, or despair, and so on.
  
A number of doctors have come forward to complain that it is wrong to cover up relatively normal reactions to life by overmedicating. It is no wonder then that some people's troubles reach fever pitch and drive them to do horrific things.
  
In a nation of over 300 million people, we are bound to have some very deranged people. But they are a tiny minority. Yet it is said that over 100 million Americans are currently taking a medication which alters their mind or moods. It is likely that when a troubled person, a drug reaction, and a gun come together we have a problem. It is probably a case of the perfect storm.
  
What we see in so many cases is this perfect storm: A person who has not had their developmental or emotional needs met and who has not been able to get appropriate help gets on a medication which changes their anger and depression into actionable rage and gets access to a weapon of massive destructive power. 
  
All these factors need to be addressed in a civil society which cares about the safety and quality of life of its citizens and about the future of its children..


Friday, December 21, 2012

Preventing Colds and Flu

Family First | VoiceAmerica™


What happens around holiday time when so many people have cold or flue symptoms? How can you avoid them or limit their effects? Cold and flu are the most common infections that affect Americans. Children typically get 9 to 12 infections each year, and adults have about seven per year. Aside from making you feel miserable, these infections are the leading cause of lost work and school days. Also of not enjoying the holidays! Having the right strategies in place can cut your risk of getting sick this season. My guest this week is Jonny Bowden, known as "The Rogue Nutritionist." He is a well-known authority on ways to get and stay healthy naturally. He will tell us his top nutritional picks for cutting down the frequency and duration of colds and flu, and will explain how to protect the respiratory system, which is our first line of defense from air-born infection. A few good habits can make all the difference. So have your family listen in about keeping the holiday season healthy.

 To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Jonny Bowden, PhD, CNS, is a board-certified nutritionist with a master’s degree in psychology. He is the best-selling author of twelve books including “The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth”, “Living Low Carb”, and “The Most Effective Natural Cures on Earth”. He has appeared on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, and CBS and Dr. Oz’s XM Radio show as an expert on nutrition and weight loss, and has written or contributed to articles for dozens of print and online publications including New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Us Weekly, “O” The Oprah Magazine, The Daily Beast, Vanity Fair Online, Time, Oxygen, Marie Claire, and Diabetes. Men’s Health, Prevention, Natural Health, and more. Dr. Jonny is a consultant to the Natural Products Industry and serves on the advisory boards of several companies, including Barlean’s Organic Oils, Resverage and EuroPharma. His latest book, “The Great Cholesterol Myth”-- co-authored with renowned cardiologist Stephen Sinatra, MD-- came out this fall.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: It is our responsibility as parents to see to it that our home environment is a safe and nurturing place for our children's health. Clean air, clutter under control, qiuet times, and comfortable temperatures are just as important as good nourishing food. And setting a good example for healthy habits out and about is important too. Like washing hands before eating and wearing appropriate clothing in winter. Remember: Kids do as you do, not as you say! Have a very happy holiday!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Ending the Special Ed Stigma

Family First | VoiceAmerica™


How can a parent or teacher communicate to a child who has been identified as having learning differences or needing special education that they are still okay and have a great future ahead of them? What can they do about bullying or other behaviors of peers which make the child feel bad? Actually every child has her or his own learning needs and in an effort to address these needs, various programs have generated a lot of misunderstanding. My guest on Family First this week is an experienced teacher who has dedicated herself to removing the stigma attached to special education. Laura Reiff has created a book which parents can read with their special education child to help both of them deal with the many challenges ahead. Reiff’s book is “The Adventures of Naomi Noodles, The Wonderful, Amazing, Splendiforous Me.” The first of a series, it helps children and their caregivers overcome any stigma about learning differences and helps both end frustration, misunderstanding, and hurt.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Laura Reiff is a special education teacher from Chicago, IL and has been teaching children in special education for over 10 years. Her expertise inspired her to write children’s books, with a passionate mission to lift the negative stigma of special education by planting the seeds of understanding and compassion through self-esteem. Her first book about Naomi Noodles is an inspirational story about a young girl coping with dyslexia. Naomi faces the confusion of being told she is dyslexic and finds out how dyslexia can affect one’s life inside and outside of the learning environment. With a little help from a very special friend, Naomi learns how to triumph over the problems and discovers just how wonderful she truly is. Laura Reiff is also the creator of www.about-special-education.com, a website dedicated to supporting the needs of parents of children with learning disabilities. Laura offers valuable resources on her blog and also offers a coaching program for parents.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Parents are always the best advocates for their children because they know them best. The aware parent can detect problems before anyone else and inform themselves and make intelligent choices about what is best for the child. Never give up getting the educational set-up which matches best your child's needs, ranging widely, from regular classroom, to special school, to homeschooling. Secrets Number 1 and 2 in my book The Seven Secretsof Successful Parents are "I would never give up on my child" and "I pay attention first to my child's basic needs." There are great examples and strategies in the book, now available in Kindle and Nook as well as softcover.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Drug-Free Help for ADHD

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Drug-Free Help for ADHD

More and more kids are being identified as having attention deficits. Often it is assumed that ADHD is a biological imbalance which requires medication to control. But drugs don’t solve the core problem. And the kids end up with habits and labels that may have unwanted consequences for their future. My guest this week on Family First is psychologist Dr. Craig B. Wiener, who specializes in the treatment of children, adolescents, and families. He has become well-known for questioning the growing tendency to make behavioral problems into medical disabilities. His groundbreaking work with ADHD shows that the behaviors included in the ADHD diagnosis can become frequent due to reinforcement, and in his new book, “Parenting Your Child with ADHD: A No-Nonsense Guide for Nurturing Self-reliance and Cooperation,” he gives parents a powerful new drug-free way to eliminate ADHD behavior by stopping those reinforcements and instead developing their child’s self-reliance and cooperation.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Dr. Craig B. Wiener is a licensed psychologist based in Worcester, Massachusetts. He obtained his Doctorate from the Clark University and has taught in the Psychology Graduate Department at Clark University and in the Undergraduate Psychology Departments at Worcester State University and Anna Maria College. He is now Assistant Professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and Clinical Director of Mental Health Services at Family Health Center of Worcester, where he supervises Clinicians, Post-doctoral Fellows, and Pre-doctoral Psychology and Social Work Interns. He is the author of two books on ADHD for professionals: “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A Return to Psychology” and “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A Less Medicinal More Self-reliant Collaborative Intervention.” He is a frequent presenter on ADHD at national conferences

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.
 
Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: No matter what label or diagnosis an educational or medical expert puts on a child, the caring parent knows the child best and needs to explore environmental, nutritional, and habitual patterns to see if there are ways to imrpove the situation by working with the child rather than by manipulating her or his chemistry. "I never lose faith in my child" is the first of The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, my book available as ebook or soft cover everywhere.