Baby Knows More than You think

Baby Knows More Than You Think

In our "information age," parents and authorities alike seem to put ever more emphasis on "early learning." We have endless educational toys, flash cards, and kindergarten preparatory programs. And parents often feel they must be like the teachers they had in school. But is this really what will create happy, successful, contributing adults?
 

Recent research, as well as the experience of many parents and families I have worked with, says no. Kids are born learners. Even at birth, a child who has not had blinding silver nitrate drops put in their eyes follows the humans around her or him and recognizes the mother almost immediately. From then on they take in everything, and learn through all their senses, imitating everything they see us do. How could they not learn as they go?

Experiments recently described in the New York Times by Alison Gopnik, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, demonstrated that even very young children like to experiment with tasks they see us doing as well as to imitate what they see seems to work when we do it.

They also respond differently depending on how we talk to them. If we are instructing, they will tend to do what we say, but if we leave the task open ended they will be quite creative but also surprisingly logical as they figure out how to accomplish the task.

We forget sometimes to give credit to the amazing capacity we have as human beings to learn. Babies often act like little scientists says Gopnik. While schools are a recent invention to teach skills like writing and reading and grasping world affairs, humans have always learned by being around their parents and caring adults, imitating, interacting, and playing.

Headlines today often speak of "different learners," "early burnout," even youth suicides from the pressures of today's educational and media assault on our children's natural programming. This is one of many reasons a small but growing group of parents choose to home school their children, in order to let the natural progression of development proceed, and also to let the parents be parents instead of mini-teachers.

As Gopnik notes, in a society which is now begging for more creative, adaptive, and open-ended thinking, we would be wise to move to an attitude which trusts the child to learn. Says Gopnik, "We don't have to make children learn, we just have to let them learn."

To explore further this question of learning and teaching from infancy on, please go to my book You Can Postpone Anything But Love, and for the older child, The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, http://www.parenthoodtools.com.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: From an early age, keep your child with you. Let them see what you are doing and hear you talking about it or with others. Talk to them even if they are still non-verbal. You will be amazed how quickly they imitate you and learn to grasp communication cues, tone of voice, and language. They are born to learn and love being stimulated, but you don't need to buy lots of artificial stimulation. YOU are the automatic teacher of your baby and child just by sharing your life with them. Be a model of the kind of acts and words you want them to absorb and you will help them best to become all they can be.

Freedom to Work, Rest, Play Parents today have so many pressing calls on their attention that it can be crucial to remind ourselves exactly what we are about. As in any other enterprise, and this is the most important one, the clearer we are about our basic tasks the more successful we will be. As parents, we do not have a clod of dirt on our hands that we must mold into a decent human being. Instead we have a human spirit determined to grow and manifest her or his greatness. Our task is to create a healthy environment where this can take place. Because of our superior age, knowledge, and experience, we can create that healthy environment as long as we are not distracted by an endless array of other "shoulds." Like a bigger house, more cars, a better school, a more up-to-date phone, a better position on the team, a better job or income for the bread-winner, and so on. Not that these aren't important, they just need to be held in their proper place of priority. So what is a healthy environment for our child? Let's take the school-age child, for example. She or he needs exactly what we want too for ourselves: the freedom to do meaningful work, to get the rest and relaxation we need, and to have the place and time to play and have fun. If we keep these priorities in mind, scheduling becomes easier, setting reasonable rules becomes easier, and encouraging contribution to the chores of a home also becomes an integral part of family life. But we, as the parents, must understand that we are the rule-makers in our own home. Too many parents today assume they are supporting their children by letting them have absolute freedom. If this worked, nature would not have put us in change for 10 to 20 years, depending on your culture. To give just one example of a need for parental limits, a recent study, which included thousands of people around the world, demonstrated that when you go to bed is much more important for getting the rest you need, than what time you get up. For parents that means setting a bedtime which is 8 to 9 hours before the child must get up, and this is up to you. When I was a child, my pre-school teacher asked my mother why I was so easy-going and never got cranky in school. Mom told her that she didn't really know, but that we were sent outside to play every afternoon for a couple of hours and were tucked into bed at 8 every night. Today, parents must shut off video games, smart phones, and initiate a real conversation eye to eye to create a healthy environment for proper sleep. But it is worth it. I had many family counseling clients who were amazed that parenting issues like bad attitude, poor school performance, and "laziness" were often completely eliminated by seeing that the child had enough sleep. In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, you can find the other eleven basic needs of children, besides good sleep. As many have said before, freedom must be coupled with discipline. But not discipline of the children so much as self-discipline of the parents. Set a good example in your own life, be gentle but consistent and persistent, make a healthy environment a given in your home, and parenting will be a whole lot easier.  Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Remember your child wants the wisdom and protection only you can provide, whether it appears that way at the moment or not. Be patient, listen, and then be clear what your rules and standards are. For more, visit my new websites! http://motherhoodtools.com and http://parenthoodtools.com.

The Most Overlooked Way to Connect with Your Child

The Most Overlooked Way to Connect with Your Child
How often have you seen a parent walking with a child and looking down at their mobile phone? Have you thought about how this may be a missed opportunity to connect?

When you are with a child, every moment is a chance to connect and our moments seem ever harder to find with parent and child occupied with school, work, play, social media, grabbing a snack, getting where we want to go in a hurry.

But with kids, there is no time like the present. Eye contact is what they crave. It only takes a moment to let a child know you care, by stopping whatever you may be focused on (except when driving!) and looking into their eyes.

This simple task is the most overlooked way to connect with a child. And yet it is the simplest and the quickest. And it has the added benefit of putting you the parent in touch with your parental love.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes we even avoid eye contact with a child because we know instinctively that it will change our focus and reset our priorities in an instant?

It is a lot easier to say no if we avoid eye contact, if we can tell ourselves the child is bothering us, being unreasonable, can wait a minute, or can take care of him or herself.

But what they want most in that moment is to know they are top priority. And a warm look into their eyes can empower them like nothing else to wait, or to find their own amusement, or to solve their own problems.

You may find this simple step can save you all kinds of time talking, consoling, making excuses, fixing problems, and so on. If a child knows they are tops with you, their confidence soars and they feel more capable, independent, and yes happy.

Randy's Take Home Tip: Next time you heave a sigh and wonder how you will ever get everything done if your child wants your attention one more time, give her or him the gift of your direct undivided attention, demonstrated by your warm glance into their eyes. Love doesn't wait. It is only now. I knew I had to write my first parenting book when its title came into my mind: "You Can Postpone Anything But Love."

Please visit my brand new website designed to connect you with the best tools on the planet for creating the life you want with your child. http://www,parenthoodtools.com.

And tell me what you think!  

When Your Child Hurts -

When Your Child Hurts

There is so much pressure on our children today to perform well in sports that many children and their parents overlook the importance of responding appropriately to pain. Often children are so eager to not let down the team or to please a coach that they don't even tell their parents when they are hurting. In addition, our sports culture encourages athletes to grin and bear it, to be tough, to play through the pain, and so on.

And parents often reinforce this culture. But many kids who focus on one sport too early end up distorting their structural development by ignoring signs that they are overdoing it. And even those who cross train or do several sports may have such a busy schedule that they don't stop to tend to a sore muscle or pulled tendon.

Often youngsters and young adults undergo surgery unnecessarily because their bodies would heal well on their own with some time and attention.

Our bodies have an amazing mechanism for alerting us that it is time to rest and heal. It is called "pain." Pain is what we notice when a part of our bodies is under stress, injured, or in need of time to repair. Even internal organs which we normally are not aware of, like stomach, kidneys, or sciatic nerve, can send pain messages to our brain to tell us something is wrong. It is a sad state of affairs now that doctors often treat pain without taking the time to find out exactly why the patient is hurting or without taking the trouble to explain to the patient how to support the body's own awesome healing powers with lots of rest, good nutrition, healthy water, fresh air, and positive thoughts.

But we parents can make the effort to discover what our children are experiencing. Sure we might hope our child will go to college on an athletic scholarship, but is it worth it to start her or him too early and wind up with serious challenges in a decade or two with sore shoulders, back injuries, concussion symptoms, or hormonal problems? Do take the time to research when it is really safe for a growing child to take up a demanding sport. And if your child is eager to get going, choose a program which is not too demanding and find a team and coach who puts the health and well-being of the children above competition and machismo.

Bookworms and nerds can experience pain too. Many children now are experiencing problems with their thumbs from texting, or other repetitive stresses in hands, arms, shoulders or back from video games or poor ergonomics at their study and play space. Listen for complaints and try to make changes or suggest a different position, more space, or more breaks. Make sure pure water is available at all times and see that meals with good quality protein, vegetables, and quality fats are regular. Minimize the high carb low nutrition snacks. For younger children whose environment you still control, you can just not have these temptations in the house.

Children who are feeling bad because of a cold or flu are often in pain too, but we are eager to get them back to school or daycare and use medications to suppress overt symptoms. Yet it has been known for a long time that rest and clear liquids are the answer for such infections, and that the use of pain medications and other drugs to suppress symptoms actually prolongs the infection and leaves the patient more likely to get sick again. By the way, the old adage "Feed a cold, starve a fever," has been severely misused. It is not two separate pieces of advice. It is instead a warning: "If you feed a cold, you will have to starve a fever." When your child has an infection, let her or him rest and eat lightly, so that she or he doesn't have to eat a lot to keep going. Instead, by resting and letting digestion rest, the body's enzymes can go to work with the immune system to rub out the infection which is causing the problem and the pain.

No matter what the source of a child's pain, make sure they get enough rest. It is in the deep sleep that most of healing happens, along with most immunological repair and muscle regrowth, as well as developmental growth. Many parents find that their children are staying up late texting or playing video games. If a young child gets sort of addicted to these things, make sure screens are removed from the bedroom. With older children, have them research online what poor sleep can do to affect their grades, their moods, and their health.


Parents should acknowledge and respond appropriately to their own experiences of pain too. If nothing else, you will be setting a good example. But also to be the best parent you can be, you too must be comfortable, rested, nourished, and not in pain.

You would think with all the prescription drug adds in the media today that pain is just a daily thing we all must suppress or ignore. Especially with job security on the wane and wage income low, adults are eager not to miss workdays. But this is at our peril. If we listen to our bodies and pay attention when our brains tell us something is wrong, we can address the problem and in the vast majority of cases return to a pain-free and happy condition and be more productive and high in morale as well.

We are meant to enjoy life and we are given the tools to recognize when something needs to change to bring back the joy. If you or your child is in pain, do your research to find out what is causing it and what you can do to help your body correct the source. Don't over-medicate or try to ignore the problem. I often say that if you ignore or cover up pain, your body will eventually force you to go flat on your back by increasing the pain or bringing on some other problem. Better to stop and think at the first sign of imbalance in your health than to go on ignoring your body's wise advice.    

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Never ignore a child's complaint. Even if you know it is just boredom or angst, repeat back what you hear with compassion and understanding. That way you will build rapport and open the door to hearing more about what is really on your child's mind. Pain does not just go away unless true healing is taking place. As parents, we must help our children find the solutions they need and deserve.  

What Is "Mindful Parenting"?

What is mindful parenting?

A recent parenting book has added to what has been called the mindful parenting movement. Mindful Parenting, by Kristen Race, a brain researcher, has stimulated articles in the New York Times and Slate and perhaps others. It has much good information about what we are learning in neuroscience about the different effects of modern stress on the one hand and traditional practice of mindfulness on the other. It applies to modern parenting some of the concepts of mindfulness, including being present in the moment and taking time to think and respond instead of react. And it also applies some of the more recent developmental theories to raising kids. Like the human potential movement of the 60s and 70s, it can be taken to place quite a burden on the new parent, creating high expectations and heavy duties. At the same time, it can also be taken to emphasize the importance of parenting and the powerful influence parents have on their children. Rather than create another set of benchmarks, we need to appreciate, in each family and as a whole society, the crucial role of parents and encourage each parent to organize their lives so that they do not have to deny or make light of their key responsibility to this new developing human child. I love the idea of being mindful, that is, keeping in mind exactly what you are there for at any given moment and responding appropriately for the conditions. But I think that parenting is actually a function of the heart, not the mind. It is as much a right brain activity as a left. We can analyze and study developmental stages and what music to play to the baby in the womb or during their studies, but we must also spend a good deal of time listening to our parental hearts. I think that is really what true mindfulness is in the traditional Asian philosophies we have borrowed from. It is about quieting the mind and our cascading thoughts about work, relatives, the economy, or our diet. It's about controlling our over-reactive egos and instead listening to the truths in our hearts. In The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, I have identified seven thoughts which should dwell in the mind of a parent whenever they think of their child. And I urge a parent to think of the child often, and especially before and after an encounter, because every encounter comes out better if you start in the right place. That is, with positive expectations, a mind at peace, and a confidence that everything will be okay. These thoughts start in the mind of the parent and need to be there before an encounter, because in the heat of the moment, voices in the brain can get in the way of authentic words or action from the heart. Modern brain science is exciting, but it should not get in the way of the natural intelligence a parent can access in direct response to her or his love for the child. I think the greatest challenge today is for parents to actually spend enough time, that is quantity time, with their children to actually exercise that parental love muscle, so that the right words and actions tend to come at the right moments, from the heart, not the mind. Today's lifestyles, of the parents and of the children, the prevailing economic pressures and the psychologist apologists, conspire to convince us quantity time isn't important. But it is. It allows parents to build their innate love and compassion for the child, and to set the example the child needs for the easiest most effective learning about life. And it is this love and compassion, born of the parent-child relationship, which has been responsible for our species' success since way before we had any scientific investigation of the brain.   Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: To get the responses you want from your parenting, you do best to do your thinking before and after an encounter with your child and focus on responding from love when you are in the moment. Thinking before and after allows you to set aside fears, urgency, guilt, worry, mistrust, and other emotions so that you can speak, listen, and act authentically from your heart, with confidence in the relationship you have created with your child and with certainty that working together you will get the results you both want.

What's with Our Schools?

When I was looking for an image of school for this article, I found only smiling faces of students fully engaged in the classroom or having fun on the playground, or smiling as they read their books.

  

These images of school can be misleading. The news is filled with stories of failing school systems, cities that can't afford their schools anymore, new programs that tend to marginalize even faster the lower tier of kids, declining competency at high school and college levels, violence and dropouts across the country, and increasing prevalence of depression, attention issues, and drug use among our school youth. Our kids are not all smiles in our schools.

  

Some experts are taking a longer view of schooling than we usually hear about. For example, John Taylor Gatto, who won accolades for his work in the New York State School System, has written extensively on how schools actually fail to educate our students. We have a serious disconnect between, on the one hand, our popular conception that a good education opens doors, builds leaders, and fosters creative and critical thinking and, on the other hand, a system of education which was developed over a hundred and fifty years ago to create obedient soldiers and was further refined a hundred years ago to create obedient employees to fuel the industrial revolution.

  

Today kids who have access to global information on their smart phones are less and less likely to take to the regimentation of conventional schooling unless they personally feel the specific training a particular class affords is something they really want. When books were hand-copied back when the first schools emerged a few thousand years ago, a few lucky kids were sent to academy to get the specialized knowledge of the professions. But the vast majority of children learned all they needed to know from their PARENTS. And even then not from instruction by parents so much as from being around them, helping them at whatever their own skill level was at the time, watching them closely, and being inspired by their maturity and skills.

  

Now many parents I talk with seem eager to send their children off to school and have delegated all that traditional educational responsibility to institutions that were ill-equipped from the beginning to fill the bill. Meanwhile the economy has forced middle class parents and even upper class parents to think they must both work in order to give their children the advantages they need to succeed in life. They assume that they must give up their children to these institutions.

  

We have no idea what the emotional costs are to this new pattern of family life. Many of the specialists studying these consequences have themselves delegated their parenting to these institutions, so they will have a bias against deciding that they and their children are suffering as a result. Today young mothers don't even know what they may be missing by going back to work so soon, because their own mothers did it too. 

  

Such commentators as Ivan Illich and Henry Giroux and many others such as leading advocates of home schooling, John Holt and Robert E. Kay, have addressed these issues in great depth and deserve serious investigation. Giroux recently labeled schools "dead zones of the imagination."

  

 Meanwhile, since most families will be sending their children to school, what are parents to do?

  

First, be clear where school ends and parenting begins. Avoid becoming the school enforcer at home. Be the parent and demonstrate life and living to your children by being with them and having them with you as much as possible. Ethics, courtesy, self-restraint, emotional processing, meaningful friendship, optimism, graciousness, kindness, healthy daily habits, strength of character and more are still best learned at home.

  

Second, be clear with your children that school is their responsibility. Don't intervene or check on grades unless asked by your child. Let them know that it is your decision to have them go to school and tell them why, in age-appropriate ways. It is better that they know that it is your decision than that they believe the state can force you, their parent who is in charge of their well-being, to do something against your will. If you want your child to believe she or he has control over their destiny, then you need to let them know you believe you have control over yours. 

  

Third, don't quiz or test your child. There is already way too much of this in school. A few fascinating experiments with children have demonstrated that they learn more and retain more when not rated, compared, embarrassed, or put on the spot to prove they are absorbing information. Watch closely to check their growing competence without making them feel always on the block.

  

Fourth, honor your child's reactions to school events, academic and otherwise. Listen and suggest. Don't jump in with solutions unless sincerely asked for your advice. Children will come up with their own solutions if they have a caring, engaged, respected, and trusted listener who can affirm their ability to handle their own problems.  

  

Fifth, protect your child's home environment and lifestyle. Make sure they get good food, good sleep, good relaxation, private space, time to play, good self-care routines, and caring supervision of their external connections - that is, social media and time with friends. These physical factors make a huge difference in whether they can weather the challenges of this rather strange institution we have invented called school.

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Don't be a substitute teacher at home. Remain the parent. Support your child in her or his activities away from home, including school, but only set safe parameters. Don't try to control or direct. Your job is to be the parent, to love, protect, set an example, guide, not to be homework cop or otherwise enforcer of school directives. When children realize school is their responsibility, studies show they are much more willing to perform what needs to be done to make it in school.

  

The Cost of Parenting?

There has been a lot of discussion lately about the cost of being a parent. Reports claim that it costs $200,000 to $300,000 to get a child to age 18. That sounds pretty scary. How many of us have that much extra sitting around? But year by year, that's between $11,000 and $16,000 per year. Consider that just about everyone of us needs that much to live decently. So that's nothing new. You are adding a new person to your family!

  

But they say that this recession has slowed down the birth rate because  people are thinking twice about the added costs. A new book on the advantages of parenting an only child or being one is timely for those who might feel bad not having a second child. I agree with the author that having a playmate for your first is not enough of a reason to have a second. But if you as a parent or couple really want another child, I say don't let these numbers scare you.

  

It is high time we pull back from the idea that every child needs two or three after school programs to round out their resume. Many middle school kids are now suffering burnout already. One sport and one art is plenty and they don't have to be the same year. Today's children need to discover ways to relax, amuse themselves, and interact with others, and not always on the most expensive new digital gadget.

  

And I advocate against skimping on good nutrition and safe environments, but having the latest games and toys and a new smart phone every two years or the latest fashions just isn't necessary.

  

On the other hand, if a person feels that children will cramp their style, either by slowing down their career, increasing their stress, or depriving them of time out at cultural activities or with their buddies, then I would advise that they are not really ready for kids.

  

The happiest parents I have known were expecting the unexpected and were prepared for whatever changes they would need to make to enjoy their kids and be the kind of parents they wanted to be. It's only about 20 years. You Can Postpone Anything But Love. That is the title of my first book (now in its third edition) and it is an important truth in parenting and in life.

  

Parents need to do the research and some calculations. What are your options to take a break from your career path to get a child off to a good start? How does the actual cost of daycare and commuting and headache and sleep remedies compare with the actual money after taxes that you will bring in from your work? And what about home cooked meals and playing in the park compared to expensive, fattening, non-nutritious fast food on the run to yet another expensive lesson?

  

Every family is different and every family must make compromises balancing time, energy, and finances. Let your children know that you are in charge and that you have worked hard on these decisions. They will respect you for it and learn that what her or his classmate does is irrelevant to what you and your family choose to do.

  

Hard times make these decisions harder but kids deserve parents who aren't all stressed out. Take the time to know what you want most and let lesser priorities go. Too often today kids are pressuring their parents to substitute gifts and amusements for simple quality family time. Neither kids nor parents know what they are missing. Keep life as simple as possible and you will all benefit.     

 

Randy Rolfe Taking Home Tips: Families today need frequent reminding that what kids need most is the loving attention and guidance of their parents. Because of the constant borage of commercial advertising that just one more purchase will make life easier and kids happier, we get sucked in to thinking consumerism is the solution for family challenges. But it never is. Listening, chatting without judgment, just being, walking, laughing, caring questions, and hugs, are the tools of effective parenting. Yes there is another mouth to feed and some resources to have on hand for stimulation and education, but parenting doesn't have to be a big ticket item in your budget. Just love 'em!

Lessons of Unschooling

I recently gave a talk at a wonderful and stimulating event in the White Mountains of New Hampshire called Life Rocks, which was a week-long gathering of families who are on the cutting edge of freedom in parenting and education. Founded by Dayna Martin with her husband and kids, the event brings together hundreds of families to share and explore their experiences, wisdom, and vision for a family-centered child-rearing experience, to encourage their children to become creative, capable, confident, and happy adults.

  

Author of Radical Unschooling, Dayna also directs the Rethinking Everything conference in Texas in August. She was my guest on my radio show "Family First," and I encourage you to listen to the show at

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/65485/radical-unschooling.

  

Not all families will want to educate their children at home, though more and more are choosing to do so. Those who have done it have learned much that can be of value to those who have chosen to take advantage of our many kinds of school systems. The contrast between letting kids learn what they need through living rather than formal schooling and sending kids to school for twelve to twenty years is often dramatic. Most notably, the children do not come to assume that someone else is in charge of their schedule, their learning, their work contribution, and their income. They take responsibility early for their own future.

  

In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, I included an Appendix describing why my husband and I decided to educate our son and daughter at home. In brief, it was primarily to give them more freedom to explore what they were most interested in at any given time and to give us all more family time so that they could learn more from us, their parents, as well as to have more fun enjoying each other as a family. You will find much more detail in the book, but my point is that all parents can focus on these things without going all the way to home education.

  

What we find in family-focused child-rearing is that children are naturally curious, naturally want to learn, and don't need to be prodded, "taught" responsibility, caring, or contribution. They want to help, want to do important things, want to imitate the adults they respect.

  

Making time together is the most important thing you can do for your children. Choose things you like to do and share these with your child. Then pick things they like to do and facilitate their activities and your own participation. Create an example of inquisitiveness in your own life. Create lots of opportunities for seeing, hearing, exploring, traveling, reading, playing, dancing, drawing, singing, building. If your child is in school, it's harder to find these times, but maximize the opportunities during vacations and on weekends. Don't let school and sports and extracurricular activities prevent your time together.

 

Child-led learning is the natural pattern among traditional peoples and it works just as well for us now. The best teachers in our school systems try to tap in to what turns a child on and show them their own competence around that subject to bolster their performance in other areas. Who is in a better position than a parent to know their child's passions, needs and wants? And who else can figure out better what each child needs for guidance, healthy limits, and healthy freedoms at different ages and stages? Too often today parents are asked to abdicate this all important role. Hold on to it and your children will thrive. You will be happier too!

  

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: You Can Postpone Anything But Love.TM Making time to be with your children is the best thing you can do as a parent. Children learn by example and you are it! See that your lifestyle and relationship habits model what you want from your child, and be there to help them interpret what they see and hear from the all-pervasive media. Make time to do fun things together and to listen to their stories. Take time to find out what they would like to do to have fun. Go hiking, watch a game, play a video game with you, go to a fancy restaurant, visit a dairy or a TV studio? Whatever it is, make it happen together.

Family Resilience for 2013!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

 Be sure to take adcantage of the over 88 great interviews with top experts and emerging expert voices on all issues related to family on "Family First" online net radio, available 24/7 on your PC or mobile, at the Voice America net talk radio netowrk, the leader in online interview shows. Simply go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first

and choose your show. The great interview with James Lee is all about optimism and resilience in the family and the society. A great resource for the end of our first month of 2013!

  For my interview with James, this link will take you directly there: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/62561/the-resilient-family.

 

Randy Rolfe Take home Tip - Home for a child is wherever a parent is. Resilience is passed on to our children when we show confidence that whatever happens we will be okay and that we will be able to care for our child no matter what. Children are born with an innate trust that their parent will guard, keep, and teach them. But the child can lose faith if we lose faith in ourselves. If you have concerns, it's okay to share them in an age appropriate manner, but always assure the child that you know all will turn out right. Kids may not believe you all the time, but deep down they will trust you because you ARE the parent. We often forget how important the parent is in this complex multi-dimensional lifestyle we live. But for the child, the parent is ALL.She or he sends all the most important cues.

Aiming at better life balance for 2013?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Have you resolved to find a better life balance in 2013? How often do we hear about the challenges modern families face with both parents working outside the home and still trying to maintain a close-knit and happy family life? Finding a balance between your roles as parent and active participant in the workplace is one of the greatest sources of everyday stress for families today. My guest this week is not only an expert on the subject but is a personal example of how to manage this balancing act. A health educator for over 30 years, Sharon Weinstein is an energetic, motivating and highly skilled nurse, nurse educator and consultant specializing in workplace wellness, corporate training programs and motivational speaking presentations. Among many other roles, she also was advisor to Central Clinical Hospital, Moscow, Russia for twelve years while raising her family and oversaw the building of a western-style International Patient Department. Among her many writings, Sharon’s book B Is for Balance is all about this issue. Listen in! Just click on the link above or this one to go direct to show, and listen online or download to any device!

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54025/creative-tips-for-finding-life-balance

This is a recording of a previous live interview but deserves repeating! Life balance can often be a continuing challenge today.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: The more parenting time and effort you dedicate in the early years of your child's life the less worry and effort it will take as the child matures. The bonding, modeling, communication, and attention to basic needs which happen in a close parent child relationship in the first months and years are irreplaceable. Simplify your child's life and your own by keeping parenting high priority in you life balance plan. Learn more in my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, available everywhere.

Parenting Resolutions for 2013!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Parenting is perhaps the most important activity in all of human existence. And it can be incredibly difficult, worrisome, and exhausting, as well as exhilarating, fulfilling, and joyful. Are there simple steps which can make it easier on a day to day basis without jeopardizing long term success?

As we approach the new year and round out the hectic family holiday season, I have decided to offer my own thoughts on “Family First.” based on my more than thirty years as a family therapist and educator as well as on my own experience as a parent and on the wonderful feedback I receive from my readers who have honored me by reading my books on parenting. I want to share with you some key steps which are entirely within your control as a parent and which can dramatically ease the burden of parenting while actually gaining more respect and cooperation from your children. I will be sharing the seven secrets from my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, all seven! Please call in!

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe’s mission is to increase people’s awareness of how small choices they make every day have huge effects on their relationships, health, and happiness. Her passion to help create healthy, happy families began when her travels with her family in over 29 countries before age 20 convinced her that all peoples share common goals for their families and that a better world could be created by helping all families to thrive.

After a successful law career, Randy Rolfe founded the Institute for Creative Solutions to pursue her passion. She wrote her first book “You Can Postpone Anything But Love” in 1985 and soon became a sought after media guest expert. In addition to her law degree, Randy holds a Masters in Theology and Certification in Clinical Nutrition. She is author of eight acclaimed books on family, health, and relationships, most recently “Mothers Losing Mothers,” and “The True Secret to Weight Loss Is Energy.” She and her husband have a son and daughter, now grown.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Successful parenting starts in the parent's mind. Make parenting easier and more fun as well as more successful by using your thoughts effectively. I call it "prepared parenting!"

Ending the Special Ed Stigma

Family First | VoiceAmerica™


How can a parent or teacher communicate to a child who has been identified as having learning differences or needing special education that they are still okay and have a great future ahead of them? What can they do about bullying or other behaviors of peers which make the child feel bad? Actually every child has her or his own learning needs and in an effort to address these needs, various programs have generated a lot of misunderstanding. My guest on Family First this week is an experienced teacher who has dedicated herself to removing the stigma attached to special education. Laura Reiff has created a book which parents can read with their special education child to help both of them deal with the many challenges ahead. Reiff’s book is “The Adventures of Naomi Noodles, The Wonderful, Amazing, Splendiforous Me.” The first of a series, it helps children and their caregivers overcome any stigma about learning differences and helps both end frustration, misunderstanding, and hurt.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Laura Reiff is a special education teacher from Chicago, IL and has been teaching children in special education for over 10 years. Her expertise inspired her to write children’s books, with a passionate mission to lift the negative stigma of special education by planting the seeds of understanding and compassion through self-esteem. Her first book about Naomi Noodles is an inspirational story about a young girl coping with dyslexia. Naomi faces the confusion of being told she is dyslexic and finds out how dyslexia can affect one’s life inside and outside of the learning environment. With a little help from a very special friend, Naomi learns how to triumph over the problems and discovers just how wonderful she truly is. Laura Reiff is also the creator of www.about-special-education.com, a website dedicated to supporting the needs of parents of children with learning disabilities. Laura offers valuable resources on her blog and also offers a coaching program for parents.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Parents are always the best advocates for their children because they know them best. The aware parent can detect problems before anyone else and inform themselves and make intelligent choices about what is best for the child. Never give up getting the educational set-up which matches best your child's needs, ranging widely, from regular classroom, to special school, to homeschooling. Secrets Number 1 and 2 in my book The Seven Secretsof Successful Parents are "I would never give up on my child" and "I pay attention first to my child's basic needs." There are great examples and strategies in the book, now available in Kindle and Nook as well as softcover.

Dealing with Parental Anger

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

When parents are angry and frustrated, and feel they can’t take any more from their kids, they usually either blow their stack and then regret it later, or try to control themselves by holding it all in. There's another option, to learn healthy, constructive ways to release all that anger and get it out of your body, safely, quickly, and efficiently. My guest this week on Family First is award-winning author and therapist Jude Bijou who says that parents should take a page from their kids' playbook.

Psychotherapist Jude Bijou has found that most kids know instinctively the healthy ways to release anger, sadness, and fear and then feel instant relief. She shows parents how to do this in an appropriate way that won't traumatize their kids' fragile psyches. Her groundbreaking discoveries appear in her book Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life and she will be sharing on Family First the simple principles which have helped countless clients and students.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 Jude Bijou, MA, MFT, is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction® evolved over during her more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her theory is described in her award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. The daughter of pioneering behavioral child psychologist Sydney W. Bijou, Jude launched her private psychotherapy practice in 1982 and also began teaching communication courses through Santa Barbara City College Adult Education. Word spread about the success of Attitude Reconstruction, and Jude soon became a sought-after workshop and seminar leader. Jude is also a longtime student of Eastern philosophy, having immersed herself in the world of meditation and Vedic philosophy when she found something missing in the Western psychology approach. The result is an integrated, holistic approach to viewing ourselves and our relationships.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Always know that you are the parent and your child wants to please you, even though all the feedback you are getting seems to indicate otherwise. With this in mind, you can always take the time you need to get your feelings and thoughts straightened out. You will actually be setting a good example for your child, of patience, and of thinking and getting in touch with feelings, before "acting out" and then regretting it.

What Happens When a Loved One Is Very Sick?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Most of us know someone who is hospitalized with medical treatment for a serious condition. Each patient and each family has their own unique needs for comfort and care. My guest this week on Family First has 30 years experience giving personalized nursing care. Listen to her stories this Friday at 4 PM ET, 3 PM CT, 2 PM Mt, 1 PM PT, or any time afterwards by going to this link! 

Episode Title:  What Can The Dying Teach Us About Living?

As our population ages, an ever bigger proportion of our population will be dealing with end of life issues. What can we learn from the experience of those dying? What can they teach us about life as well as about death, and how can we help to make their transition more peaceful and love-filled? My guest this week on “Family First” is Becki Hawkins, author of the new book TRANSITIONS: A Nurse’s Education About Life and Death.

 

Becki Hawkins is a natural storyteller and a great listener and she brought those gifts with her as she sat by the bedside of seriously ill or terminally ill patients for more than 30 years, as an oncology and hospice nurse. It is her compassion and warmth that encouraged so many of her charges to share their heartfelt thoughts and experiences with her. On “Family First” she will share what she has learned from her experiences and also reveal a kind of blueprint for how to help our loved ones to go through their end of life transition in peace, grace, and love.

To hear the program, simply click on this link::http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Becki Hawkins became a nurse’s aide at age 19, which inspired her to earn her degree in nursing. Unusual for someone so young, she chose to start her career in the Oncology Unit in a large city hospital. She progressed to Outpatient Oncology, Hospice, and eventually became a Hospice Chaplain. Upon retirement in the 1990s, she began to volunteer her services for hospice patients.

 

Becki was also instrumental in the care of various family members. She loved the opportunity to work with the patients and their families, but she didn’t quite know how to face the reality of not being able to “save” every patient. After seeing the stress it left upon her and hearing the stories, her husband suggested she begin journaling. She began to write about what she was hearing, witnessing, and feeling. By 1986, she started penning a column in a local newspaper called “Beyond Statistics,” which became syndicated and led to the creation of her book, Transitions: A Nurse’s Education About Life and Death.

To hear the program, simply click on this link::http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Authenticity is most important when dealing with a sick loved one. Those who are hospitalized know that something serious is happening. Be gentle and loving and authentic. In discussing the situation with younger family members, keep the language and ideas age-appropriate. Take time to choose your words carefully. Avoid frightening them or dumping your more complext feelings on them. Think your answers through before you get questions. Or if you already have a child asking a question, ask them to let you get back to them about it and then follow up within an hour or two. Children know when you are sad or preoccupied so be sure to let them know what it is about and that it is not about them.

Our Adrenaline Nation

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Do you or someone close sometimes feel that you are never quite good enough or don’t quite measure up? Most Americans feel bombarded by constant messages that they must work harder, learn more, and be better to get what they want in life. This is just one form of the stress people experience every day. My guest this week on Family First says the pressure is killing us, literally. Author of the new book Adrenaline Nation, Peter M. McCarthy knows stress first hand as a former Air Force pilot and then a pilot for Southwest Airlines. But it was seeing all the health problems among his loved ones that led him to discover what stress was doing to us and to dedicate himself to revealing how stress is not only making us sick but also bankrupting our nation.

McCarthy earned his Doctorate in Traditional Naturopathy from Trinity College of Natural Health. He is President of the Texas Complementary and Alternative Medicine Association and Chair of the Texas Health Freedom Coalition, the nation’s largest state level grass roots natural health advocacy network,

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or go to::http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Peter M. McCarthy, TN, board certified traditional naturopath, is a sought after professional in the field of complementary and alternative medicine, CAM. He is CEO of AHI Productions, a media company which is creator of NHN-TV, the planet’s first television network devoted to natural health and green living news, education, and entertainment. He is a past member of the Advisory Committee of the American Naturopathic Certification Board.

McCarthy graduated from the US Air Force Academy in 1972 with a BS in Engineering Mechanics and an Air Force commission as a second lieutenant. A 20 year military veteran, he earned his MA in Management and Supervision from Central Michigan University while on active duty. He then became a Captain/First Officer for Southwest Airlines and later retired in 2009. During the 80s and 90s his interest in naturopathy developed as he saw the impact of stressors on the health of those around him. He and his wife Nancy live in Austin TX and have three grown children.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above, or go to::http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: There is much parents can do to minimize their children's stress but saving them from all challenge, risk, or pain is not helpful. Neither a neglectful nor a hovering parent be. Our job is to minimize stressors which have dangerous long term effects, like toxins in the home, emotionally burdensome comments, or constant pressure to achieve at the expense of play, sleep, and free activity. So make a regular review of your child's overall stress burden and make frequent adjustments, both in reducing unnecessary stress and improving lifestyle so that the child can respond to appropriate stresses with strong immune and hormone systems.

Build a child's confidence through sense of place!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

In our fast-changing society today, many kids feel a bit adrift and their self-confidence can suffer. One of the most powerful ways to help them find their way is to help them reconnect with their cultural and family heritage and sense of place.

My guest this week is Michelle Dirks, who does exactly that. Michelle Dirks is an internationally acclaimed educator and artist has captured her secrets of teaching success in her Treasure House Press curriculums. For over fifteen years, she has taught children, ages 3-17, creative art programs from painting to print-making, primitive weaving to learning from the masters, calligraphy to urban-street art, recycled material murals  to martial arts, each creative opportunity rich and engaging for students. The result is children re-discovering their passion for learning. In a multi-disciplinary approach to art education, Michelle Dirks provides a vast knowledge base while enhancing self esteem and cooperative communication between her students.

Listen in Friday at 1 PM PT/2 PM MT/3 PM CT/4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on demand or podcast. Simply click on the link above or go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first and click on this episode to the right of the program home page. 

Michelle Dirks is a native of Ireland and graduate of Limerick College of Art and Design. She has been instrumental in founding Irish National Arts Programs, with grants from The Art Council of Ireland. Dirks shares her enthusiasm for life-long learning with her students to nurture their creativity and sense of heritage. She was one of the top macrobiotic food specialists in the US, teaching classes in natural nutrition and cooking for celebrities.  

Dirks is author of two children’s books: Yummy Yummy in my Tummy and Mr. Hoppity’s Color Me Cookbook for Kids and did illustrations for Wild Food Foraging by Deborah Lee-Hoagie. The student work produced from her curriculums has created fund-raising opportunities for Pegasus Artworks - Boys and Girls Club of Delaware, Chester County Community Foundation, Coatesville Community Education Foundation and others. Dirks led a five organization sponsored tour called the Art of Hope, reaching ten locations and ending with a Festival of Hope event. 

To hear Michelle dirks’ valuable ideas, listen in Friday at 1 PM PT/2 PM MT/3 PM CT/4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on demand or podcast. Click on the link above or go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first and click on this episode to the right of the program home page.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Be sure to have your child explore with you often your surroundings and neighborhood and also tell her or him stories of where you grew up and where their ancestors came from. Show them on a globe, a map, or google maps, and ask them to draw pictures of these places and stories! 

Do you know a family looking to adopt?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Many couples today are looking into adopting a child, and most of us know some one who has considered adopting, either domestically or internationally. Often would-be adoptive parents are faced with challenges they had no way of knowing about ahead of time, and few appreciate the financial commitment, which can cost well over $10,000, with travel expenses, fees, and more, and cause undue stress at what should be a happy time. Likewise, friends and relatives often have no idea how to help.  

My guest this week on Family First net talk radio is Kelly Ellison, who as a result of her own experience adopting her daughter from China, founded YourAdoptionFinanceCoach.com and GotchaGiftRegistry.com, two eCommerce companies to fill this information gap. Her organization is dedicated to giving potential parents the coaching they need to make the process as smooth as possible and to educating friends and family about how they can best help, so that, as Kelly says, they can “bring their family home together forever.” 

Click on the above link to hear Kelly ellison live, at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, and 4 PM ET, to listen in or catch it later on archive. 

Kelly Ellison is an executive coach and trainer with over 25 years experience working in development and management in the nonprofit sector.  She has been president and CEO of two nonprofit organizations as well as Vice President of Marketing and Development for a national nonprofit organization based in Kansas City, Missouri.  Kelly has a passion for helping people raise money, and now she specifically helps adoptive families reach their financial goals. 

 Kelly earned her Master’s Degree in Business Administration in 2005 from the Rockhurst Executive Fellows Program in Kansas City. She is certified in mediation and diversity and is an experienced presenter.  She is co-author of The Youth Action Agenda, A Cooperative Model for Environmental Leadership, a curriculum for high school. She is a member of the scholarship committee for the Rosalyn Carter Institute’s Intergenerational Caregivers Scholarship Award and a member of the board of governors of the We Are Family Foundation.

To hear Kelly Ellison’s insights on adoption, click on the above link at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, and 4 PM ET, to listen in or catch it later on archive.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips:  Adapting to the new family when the child is adopted takes a lot of focus and attention by the new parents, particularly because the parents don't have the same natural hormones which follow a birth to create a bit of extra confidence, closeness, and security feelings within the family. So stay focused and steady and know that you are meant to be this child's baby and it will all work out okay!

Triumph Over Childhood Pain

Family First VoiceAmerica™



I am a big advocate of prevention. Listen in to hear the importance of good parenting, how to overcome residual childhood pain yourself or in someone you care about, and how to minimize it for your own children if you are a parent!

Today’s research is showing that many of the troubles adults are having stem from unresolved pain from childhood. Yet some adults go on to lead satisfying productive lives after experiencing horrendous childhoods. What’s the difference between the two? How can an adult recover from childhood troubles which are still affecting their approach to life? And how can today’s parents spare their children from having to deal with these issues as adults? My guest this week is James Krehbiel, who is a long-time educator and professional counselor who has been helping adults to deal with many emotional issues by overcoming their troubled childhood experiences and what he calls the “magical illusion” of childhood which many people carry into adulthood. James will share with us some insights from his new book Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life about how ineffective parenting can set us up for these challenges and how these can be overcome or prevented in the first place.

To hear James' insights, just click on the link above or go to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/59369/triumphing-after-a-troubled-childhood
The show airs live on Friday at 4 PM ET, 3 PM CT, 2 PM MT, and 1 PM PT. It is also archived for listening on your PC, downloaded as MP#, RSS, or app any time.

James P. Krehbiel, Ed.S., LPC, CCBT is an educator, author, licensed professional counselor and nationally certified cognitive-behavioral therapist practicing in Scottsdale, Arizona. He specializes in working with patients with anxiety, depression, the emotional effects of pain management issues, and high functioning autistic spectrum disorders. He served as a teacher and guidance counselor for 30 years and has taught graduate-level counselor education courses for Chapman University of California. James received his post-graduate counseling training at Northern Illinois University. He has published numerous articles. In 2005, he self-published Stepping Out of the Bubble: Reflections on the Pilgrimage of Counseling Therapy (Booklocker.com). His latest book, Troubled Childhood, Triumphant Life: Healing from the Battle Scars of Youth (New Horizon Press) is about the impact of troubled childhoods on adult functioning. He can be reached at www.scottsdaletherapy.net.

Get great strategies for overcoming a tough childhood and for preventing childhood pain for your kids! Listen in Friday at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, or any time afterwards on archive, at this link:
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/59369/triumphing-after-a-troubled-childhood

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Never forget that parenting is always the greatest influence on a child's life. That's true even if it's an absentee parent. Time spent with your child is always worthwhile if you are sharing your love, wisdom, experience, and guidance, and celebrating the goodness in your child.

Might your child be a right-brain learner?

Family'>http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner">Family First VoiceAmerica™

Teachers and schools are more and more frustrated with children who are falling behind expectations and may eventually become discipline problems. What can a parent do when their child takes a long time todo homework and is way too stressed out by it, or struggles with reading comprehension even though he or she is smart, or doesn’t perform well on standardized tests, which are becoming ever more important in academicadvancement?

Parents are often hit with negative labels like Dyslexia, Learning Disability, ADHD, or just “lazy.”

My guest this week is Mark Halpert, a parent and educator who together with his wife Mira decided to do something about this issue when two of their four children were identified as having learning challenges. They founded and now run the 3D Learner Center in Boca Raton, FL and have helped over 2000 students to go from Stress to Success. Listen in to learn about how children can be significantly helped by simply adapting learning to their learning style.

Just click on this link and listen live Friday at 4 PM ET or 1 PM PT, or any time after the show on archive for PC or download, MP3 or RSS, etc.: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner

Mark Halpert is an educator, a parent advocate, and a parent himself. When two of their children were identified as gifted and two were struggling even though they were clearly smart, he and his wife investigated and discovered research that showed that up to 62% of the students today are right-brained learners, that is, they need to see and experience information.

Having helped thousands of students since then to overcome learning challenges which might have led to failed academics, medications, or worse, Mark will discuss why right-brained learners can struggle for years even when parents invest time, money and effort to help them, how right-brained learners can make dramatic progress with programs that play to their strengths and actually address their issues; and how parents can use the 5 Steps from Stress to Outrageous Success to reduce homework stress, improve reading, improve test scores, boost self-esteem and self-advocacy skills, and work collaboratively with the schools.

Go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner. Tune in at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT Friday, or hear the recording anytime, in any format you prefer. You can also share the interview with others through social network links.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip. One of the most important things parents can do is to play with their child. We seem so stuck on "learning" that we forget that the best lessons are learned through doing, and play is the process of exploring some activity in a safe environment where the consequences are minimal and the activity is enjoyable and fun. Kids learn games quickly for instance. If you get involved with their experience of math and history and writing, they will take to it much more quickly. Also, interpersonal interaction is a powerful way to encourage right-brain and left-brain coordination. Interaction with the parent is the strongest learning process. So take the time and enjoy play with your child from the earliest age!

How to bully-proof your child

This month has been designated Anti-Bully Month and in recent years there have been some horrendous incidents of bullying in the news which have destroyed lives. Why has it become
such a problem? Is it getting worse? And if so why? What is happening in the mind of the bully? And how can we protect the potential victim? Does the old idea of just hitting back work? Or can our child talk a bully out of attack?

What should our children watch out for to avoid being a target? My guest Rich Kohler has answers which have been tested in the field. Rich is a dynamic presenter who has created and presented award-winning child safety programsnworld-wide since 1997. Rich Kohler is considered one of the leading experts on child abduction safety and bully avoidance in the State of Connecticut. His unique teaching style is popular among the many public and private organizations to whom he has presented.. He receives glowing reports from parents, teachers, police officers, and child psychologists.

To listen in to Family First on Friday 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, or any time after Friday, go to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/57194/can-you-bully-proof-your-child.

At 16, a determined but shy Richard Kohler entered his first karate school searching for some strength, inner strength. For the next seven years he sacrificed much to achieve the coveted black belt rank and then began teaching others. At 27, he became a father to his son. After a near-tragic experience, Rich discovered his passion for keeping children safe. He combined fantasy adventure with the most effective teaching methods and his own 12 years of teaching experience to develop the award-winning child safety movie: The Journey of the Steal-Proof Master. Rich also teaches personal security to women and high risk professionals. He teamed up with a local radio celebrity to create an annual self-defense charity event, http.//www.craigandcofightsback.com, to benefit domestic violence and women’s shelters in Connecticut. Rich has expertise in various self-defense systems, including Kray Maga (Israeli Military Self-Defense), Wing Chun Kung Fu, Muay Thai Kickboxing, and American Kempo.

To hear Rich Kohler's insights on Family First on how to protect your child from bullies, listen in on Friday 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, or any time after Friday, go to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/57194/can-you-bully-proof-your-child.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip: Interact with your child as much as you can so that she or he learns nonverbal communication as well as verbal. That way they will get to know you, themselves, and others better so that they can respond better in any situation.