Baby Knows More than You think

Baby Knows More Than You Think

In our "information age," parents and authorities alike seem to put ever more emphasis on "early learning." We have endless educational toys, flash cards, and kindergarten preparatory programs. And parents often feel they must be like the teachers they had in school. But is this really what will create happy, successful, contributing adults?
 

Recent research, as well as the experience of many parents and families I have worked with, says no. Kids are born learners. Even at birth, a child who has not had blinding silver nitrate drops put in their eyes follows the humans around her or him and recognizes the mother almost immediately. From then on they take in everything, and learn through all their senses, imitating everything they see us do. How could they not learn as they go?

Experiments recently described in the New York Times by Alison Gopnik, professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley, demonstrated that even very young children like to experiment with tasks they see us doing as well as to imitate what they see seems to work when we do it.

They also respond differently depending on how we talk to them. If we are instructing, they will tend to do what we say, but if we leave the task open ended they will be quite creative but also surprisingly logical as they figure out how to accomplish the task.

We forget sometimes to give credit to the amazing capacity we have as human beings to learn. Babies often act like little scientists says Gopnik. While schools are a recent invention to teach skills like writing and reading and grasping world affairs, humans have always learned by being around their parents and caring adults, imitating, interacting, and playing.

Headlines today often speak of "different learners," "early burnout," even youth suicides from the pressures of today's educational and media assault on our children's natural programming. This is one of many reasons a small but growing group of parents choose to home school their children, in order to let the natural progression of development proceed, and also to let the parents be parents instead of mini-teachers.

As Gopnik notes, in a society which is now begging for more creative, adaptive, and open-ended thinking, we would be wise to move to an attitude which trusts the child to learn. Says Gopnik, "We don't have to make children learn, we just have to let them learn."

To explore further this question of learning and teaching from infancy on, please go to my book You Can Postpone Anything But Love, and for the older child, The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, http://www.parenthoodtools.com.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: From an early age, keep your child with you. Let them see what you are doing and hear you talking about it or with others. Talk to them even if they are still non-verbal. You will be amazed how quickly they imitate you and learn to grasp communication cues, tone of voice, and language. They are born to learn and love being stimulated, but you don't need to buy lots of artificial stimulation. YOU are the automatic teacher of your baby and child just by sharing your life with them. Be a model of the kind of acts and words you want them to absorb and you will help them best to become all they can be.

Freedom to Work, Rest, Play Parents today have so many pressing calls on their attention that it can be crucial to remind ourselves exactly what we are about. As in any other enterprise, and this is the most important one, the clearer we are about our basic tasks the more successful we will be. As parents, we do not have a clod of dirt on our hands that we must mold into a decent human being. Instead we have a human spirit determined to grow and manifest her or his greatness. Our task is to create a healthy environment where this can take place. Because of our superior age, knowledge, and experience, we can create that healthy environment as long as we are not distracted by an endless array of other "shoulds." Like a bigger house, more cars, a better school, a more up-to-date phone, a better position on the team, a better job or income for the bread-winner, and so on. Not that these aren't important, they just need to be held in their proper place of priority. So what is a healthy environment for our child? Let's take the school-age child, for example. She or he needs exactly what we want too for ourselves: the freedom to do meaningful work, to get the rest and relaxation we need, and to have the place and time to play and have fun. If we keep these priorities in mind, scheduling becomes easier, setting reasonable rules becomes easier, and encouraging contribution to the chores of a home also becomes an integral part of family life. But we, as the parents, must understand that we are the rule-makers in our own home. Too many parents today assume they are supporting their children by letting them have absolute freedom. If this worked, nature would not have put us in change for 10 to 20 years, depending on your culture. To give just one example of a need for parental limits, a recent study, which included thousands of people around the world, demonstrated that when you go to bed is much more important for getting the rest you need, than what time you get up. For parents that means setting a bedtime which is 8 to 9 hours before the child must get up, and this is up to you. When I was a child, my pre-school teacher asked my mother why I was so easy-going and never got cranky in school. Mom told her that she didn't really know, but that we were sent outside to play every afternoon for a couple of hours and were tucked into bed at 8 every night. Today, parents must shut off video games, smart phones, and initiate a real conversation eye to eye to create a healthy environment for proper sleep. But it is worth it. I had many family counseling clients who were amazed that parenting issues like bad attitude, poor school performance, and "laziness" were often completely eliminated by seeing that the child had enough sleep. In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, you can find the other eleven basic needs of children, besides good sleep. As many have said before, freedom must be coupled with discipline. But not discipline of the children so much as self-discipline of the parents. Set a good example in your own life, be gentle but consistent and persistent, make a healthy environment a given in your home, and parenting will be a whole lot easier.  Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Remember your child wants the wisdom and protection only you can provide, whether it appears that way at the moment or not. Be patient, listen, and then be clear what your rules and standards are. For more, visit my new websites! http://motherhoodtools.com and http://parenthoodtools.com.

When Your Child Hurts -

When Your Child Hurts

There is so much pressure on our children today to perform well in sports that many children and their parents overlook the importance of responding appropriately to pain. Often children are so eager to not let down the team or to please a coach that they don't even tell their parents when they are hurting. In addition, our sports culture encourages athletes to grin and bear it, to be tough, to play through the pain, and so on.

And parents often reinforce this culture. But many kids who focus on one sport too early end up distorting their structural development by ignoring signs that they are overdoing it. And even those who cross train or do several sports may have such a busy schedule that they don't stop to tend to a sore muscle or pulled tendon.

Often youngsters and young adults undergo surgery unnecessarily because their bodies would heal well on their own with some time and attention.

Our bodies have an amazing mechanism for alerting us that it is time to rest and heal. It is called "pain." Pain is what we notice when a part of our bodies is under stress, injured, or in need of time to repair. Even internal organs which we normally are not aware of, like stomach, kidneys, or sciatic nerve, can send pain messages to our brain to tell us something is wrong. It is a sad state of affairs now that doctors often treat pain without taking the time to find out exactly why the patient is hurting or without taking the trouble to explain to the patient how to support the body's own awesome healing powers with lots of rest, good nutrition, healthy water, fresh air, and positive thoughts.

But we parents can make the effort to discover what our children are experiencing. Sure we might hope our child will go to college on an athletic scholarship, but is it worth it to start her or him too early and wind up with serious challenges in a decade or two with sore shoulders, back injuries, concussion symptoms, or hormonal problems? Do take the time to research when it is really safe for a growing child to take up a demanding sport. And if your child is eager to get going, choose a program which is not too demanding and find a team and coach who puts the health and well-being of the children above competition and machismo.

Bookworms and nerds can experience pain too. Many children now are experiencing problems with their thumbs from texting, or other repetitive stresses in hands, arms, shoulders or back from video games or poor ergonomics at their study and play space. Listen for complaints and try to make changes or suggest a different position, more space, or more breaks. Make sure pure water is available at all times and see that meals with good quality protein, vegetables, and quality fats are regular. Minimize the high carb low nutrition snacks. For younger children whose environment you still control, you can just not have these temptations in the house.

Children who are feeling bad because of a cold or flu are often in pain too, but we are eager to get them back to school or daycare and use medications to suppress overt symptoms. Yet it has been known for a long time that rest and clear liquids are the answer for such infections, and that the use of pain medications and other drugs to suppress symptoms actually prolongs the infection and leaves the patient more likely to get sick again. By the way, the old adage "Feed a cold, starve a fever," has been severely misused. It is not two separate pieces of advice. It is instead a warning: "If you feed a cold, you will have to starve a fever." When your child has an infection, let her or him rest and eat lightly, so that she or he doesn't have to eat a lot to keep going. Instead, by resting and letting digestion rest, the body's enzymes can go to work with the immune system to rub out the infection which is causing the problem and the pain.

No matter what the source of a child's pain, make sure they get enough rest. It is in the deep sleep that most of healing happens, along with most immunological repair and muscle regrowth, as well as developmental growth. Many parents find that their children are staying up late texting or playing video games. If a young child gets sort of addicted to these things, make sure screens are removed from the bedroom. With older children, have them research online what poor sleep can do to affect their grades, their moods, and their health.


Parents should acknowledge and respond appropriately to their own experiences of pain too. If nothing else, you will be setting a good example. But also to be the best parent you can be, you too must be comfortable, rested, nourished, and not in pain.

You would think with all the prescription drug adds in the media today that pain is just a daily thing we all must suppress or ignore. Especially with job security on the wane and wage income low, adults are eager not to miss workdays. But this is at our peril. If we listen to our bodies and pay attention when our brains tell us something is wrong, we can address the problem and in the vast majority of cases return to a pain-free and happy condition and be more productive and high in morale as well.

We are meant to enjoy life and we are given the tools to recognize when something needs to change to bring back the joy. If you or your child is in pain, do your research to find out what is causing it and what you can do to help your body correct the source. Don't over-medicate or try to ignore the problem. I often say that if you ignore or cover up pain, your body will eventually force you to go flat on your back by increasing the pain or bringing on some other problem. Better to stop and think at the first sign of imbalance in your health than to go on ignoring your body's wise advice.    

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Never ignore a child's complaint. Even if you know it is just boredom or angst, repeat back what you hear with compassion and understanding. That way you will build rapport and open the door to hearing more about what is really on your child's mind. Pain does not just go away unless true healing is taking place. As parents, we must help our children find the solutions they need and deserve.  

What Is "Mindful Parenting"?

What is mindful parenting?

A recent parenting book has added to what has been called the mindful parenting movement. Mindful Parenting, by Kristen Race, a brain researcher, has stimulated articles in the New York Times and Slate and perhaps others. It has much good information about what we are learning in neuroscience about the different effects of modern stress on the one hand and traditional practice of mindfulness on the other. It applies to modern parenting some of the concepts of mindfulness, including being present in the moment and taking time to think and respond instead of react. And it also applies some of the more recent developmental theories to raising kids. Like the human potential movement of the 60s and 70s, it can be taken to place quite a burden on the new parent, creating high expectations and heavy duties. At the same time, it can also be taken to emphasize the importance of parenting and the powerful influence parents have on their children. Rather than create another set of benchmarks, we need to appreciate, in each family and as a whole society, the crucial role of parents and encourage each parent to organize their lives so that they do not have to deny or make light of their key responsibility to this new developing human child. I love the idea of being mindful, that is, keeping in mind exactly what you are there for at any given moment and responding appropriately for the conditions. But I think that parenting is actually a function of the heart, not the mind. It is as much a right brain activity as a left. We can analyze and study developmental stages and what music to play to the baby in the womb or during their studies, but we must also spend a good deal of time listening to our parental hearts. I think that is really what true mindfulness is in the traditional Asian philosophies we have borrowed from. It is about quieting the mind and our cascading thoughts about work, relatives, the economy, or our diet. It's about controlling our over-reactive egos and instead listening to the truths in our hearts. In The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, I have identified seven thoughts which should dwell in the mind of a parent whenever they think of their child. And I urge a parent to think of the child often, and especially before and after an encounter, because every encounter comes out better if you start in the right place. That is, with positive expectations, a mind at peace, and a confidence that everything will be okay. These thoughts start in the mind of the parent and need to be there before an encounter, because in the heat of the moment, voices in the brain can get in the way of authentic words or action from the heart. Modern brain science is exciting, but it should not get in the way of the natural intelligence a parent can access in direct response to her or his love for the child. I think the greatest challenge today is for parents to actually spend enough time, that is quantity time, with their children to actually exercise that parental love muscle, so that the right words and actions tend to come at the right moments, from the heart, not the mind. Today's lifestyles, of the parents and of the children, the prevailing economic pressures and the psychologist apologists, conspire to convince us quantity time isn't important. But it is. It allows parents to build their innate love and compassion for the child, and to set the example the child needs for the easiest most effective learning about life. And it is this love and compassion, born of the parent-child relationship, which has been responsible for our species' success since way before we had any scientific investigation of the brain.   Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: To get the responses you want from your parenting, you do best to do your thinking before and after an encounter with your child and focus on responding from love when you are in the moment. Thinking before and after allows you to set aside fears, urgency, guilt, worry, mistrust, and other emotions so that you can speak, listen, and act authentically from your heart, with confidence in the relationship you have created with your child and with certainty that working together you will get the results you both want.

Rescue Your Vacationing Kids from ICT

With kids out of school and at home looking for things to do, don't settle for them spending hours playing video games, surfing the Internet, watching friends' posts on Facebook or talking on the smart phone. Instead, spend some time checking out ways to help them escape and get involved in life outside the box.

They will be grown and may be busy with their own new family and even in another state before you know it. So capture your time together now and treasure it!

 

Check out your local museums for special exhibits over the holidays.

 

Check out local community theater for neat shows your children might enjoy.

 

Catch a local production of the Nutcracker or A Christmas Carol.

Attend a house of worship for a special holiday event.

 

Go to a nearby park and sled, skate board, roller skate, play street hockey, or just take a leisurely stroll together.

 

Shovel snow with them or make snowballs or a snow man if you are lucky enough to have snow.

 

Drive around and see the Christmas lights at night in the neighborhood.

Read a good Christmas tale aloud.

 

Build a fire and share stories by the flickering light.

 

Sing carols together.

 

Play a favorite Christmas album and sing or dance along.

 

Shop together for gifts and forget the surprise element so that you can spend more time together shopping and so that everyone gets exactly the model of digital device they want!

 

And cook together. Have each person choose a recipe and prepare them all in the kitchen together, each working on their own recipe. It's a blast!

 

If your child thinks your selection is just too corny, go ahead and plead that they do it for your sake. We parents have some prerogatives even with older kids! They will usually admit afterwards that it was a fine experience.

 

Besides the inherent value of grabbing more time together and reconnecting, sharing your stories, global philosophies, and laughs, pulling them away from the digital devices has great physical, emotional, and even mental benefits to their health.

 

Studies are mounting showing that in young people, depression, dissatisfaction with life, anxiety, poor academic performance, and lack of concentration are all associated with heavy cell phone use. It is easy to say that more time at the cell phone obviously means less time studying, but researchers have even considered that and found that there is a stronger association than just the time lost factor.

 

For xample, a study of college students back in 2007 found a strong positive correlation between Internet and cell phone use on the one hand and anxiety and insomnia on the other. The researchers summarized the study as demonstrating promising tools for assessing "these new behavioral addictions."

 

A 2012 study found that young people had more sleep disturbances, stress and other mental health problems. This study was done at the University of Gothenburg, Sweden. They conducted four studies including 4,100 young adults aged 20-24. According to one of the researchers, "Regularly using a computer late at night is associated not only with sleep disorders but also with stress and depressive symptoms in both men and women." The study found that a combination of heavy use of both the computer and cell phone strengthened the link between ICT (information and communication technology) and sleep problems and depression.

 

As for serious problems of physical health, there are numerous studies which have shown that frequent use of cell phones, especially close to the head or carried near the waist, are associated with increased likelihood of brain cancer, infertility, and other scary problems.

 

A year ago, Pembroke Pines Florida passed an ordinance warning residents of the dangers of cell phone use after hearing testimony from a lawyer who realized that the cancers in his hand, the side of his head, and his hip were directly associated with his cell phone use with that hand, his ear on that side of his head, and the pocket by that hip. The city is recommending that residents keep their phone at least one inch from their bodies and use text, email or speakerphone in preference to holding the phone near their bodies.

 

As Nikken consultants, my partners and I regularly have folks test their strength either holding their cell phone or holding something else. Their strength is dramatically reduced when holding the phone, especially if it is turned on. But even when turned off it is ready to receive incoming calls, so it is actively in the matrix of radiofrequency waves surrounding us all the time now. The good news is that if you add to your body a balancing magnetic device, like Nikken insoles, or bracelet or neck band, the effect of the cell phone is diminished. But it is best to expose yourself as little as possible to the unnatural waves coming from these devices.

 

They also heat up the brain. "Frying the brain" can't be good. Though important, the measurements now required for rating cell phones today only refer to this heating effect. We still don't get any information about individual cell phones and the other effects of their emissions.

 

Consider attaching a blocker to the ear piece of your phone. An inexpensive but well tested on is available at www.waveshield.com. I interviewed Shelly Kalnitsky on my radio show Family First. You can listen to the interview at my website, www.randyrolfe.com. Also, if you are not using Nikken products already and want more information about them, please call me or visit my Nikken website at www.nikken.com/randyrolfe.

 

It may seem that we are just being negative about a new technology. But it is known that it can take 10 to 20 years for cancers to develop so precautions now are better than waiting to see what happens to our loved ones 10 to 20 years from now. And there are enough results already to convince me to be on my guard.

 

An MTV study released this summer found that young millenials were looking for better privacy in their social media. So the younger set seems to be wising up to the stressful aspects of their new-found communication tools. The results of the study surprised even MTV. They found that 14-17 year olds were pulling away from Facebook and seeking more private networks for communicating. The study also found that the kids were "taking time to disconnect, de-stress, de-stimulate and control inputs." They found some respondents who were said to be "monotasking."

 

Let the children lead the way.

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: There is no substitute for you the parent. That proposition is my passion! So when your kids are home, include them as much as you can in everything you do, participate in whatever they are doing if they let you, and plan on doing nothing together often! Have a fantastic winter vacation!

 

The Cost of Parenting?

There has been a lot of discussion lately about the cost of being a parent. Reports claim that it costs $200,000 to $300,000 to get a child to age 18. That sounds pretty scary. How many of us have that much extra sitting around? But year by year, that's between $11,000 and $16,000 per year. Consider that just about everyone of us needs that much to live decently. So that's nothing new. You are adding a new person to your family!

  

But they say that this recession has slowed down the birth rate because  people are thinking twice about the added costs. A new book on the advantages of parenting an only child or being one is timely for those who might feel bad not having a second child. I agree with the author that having a playmate for your first is not enough of a reason to have a second. But if you as a parent or couple really want another child, I say don't let these numbers scare you.

  

It is high time we pull back from the idea that every child needs two or three after school programs to round out their resume. Many middle school kids are now suffering burnout already. One sport and one art is plenty and they don't have to be the same year. Today's children need to discover ways to relax, amuse themselves, and interact with others, and not always on the most expensive new digital gadget.

  

And I advocate against skimping on good nutrition and safe environments, but having the latest games and toys and a new smart phone every two years or the latest fashions just isn't necessary.

  

On the other hand, if a person feels that children will cramp their style, either by slowing down their career, increasing their stress, or depriving them of time out at cultural activities or with their buddies, then I would advise that they are not really ready for kids.

  

The happiest parents I have known were expecting the unexpected and were prepared for whatever changes they would need to make to enjoy their kids and be the kind of parents they wanted to be. It's only about 20 years. You Can Postpone Anything But Love. That is the title of my first book (now in its third edition) and it is an important truth in parenting and in life.

  

Parents need to do the research and some calculations. What are your options to take a break from your career path to get a child off to a good start? How does the actual cost of daycare and commuting and headache and sleep remedies compare with the actual money after taxes that you will bring in from your work? And what about home cooked meals and playing in the park compared to expensive, fattening, non-nutritious fast food on the run to yet another expensive lesson?

  

Every family is different and every family must make compromises balancing time, energy, and finances. Let your children know that you are in charge and that you have worked hard on these decisions. They will respect you for it and learn that what her or his classmate does is irrelevant to what you and your family choose to do.

  

Hard times make these decisions harder but kids deserve parents who aren't all stressed out. Take the time to know what you want most and let lesser priorities go. Too often today kids are pressuring their parents to substitute gifts and amusements for simple quality family time. Neither kids nor parents know what they are missing. Keep life as simple as possible and you will all benefit.     

 

Randy Rolfe Taking Home Tips: Families today need frequent reminding that what kids need most is the loving attention and guidance of their parents. Because of the constant borage of commercial advertising that just one more purchase will make life easier and kids happier, we get sucked in to thinking consumerism is the solution for family challenges. But it never is. Listening, chatting without judgment, just being, walking, laughing, caring questions, and hugs, are the tools of effective parenting. Yes there is another mouth to feed and some resources to have on hand for stimulation and education, but parenting doesn't have to be a big ticket item in your budget. Just love 'em!

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Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

As spring approaches, get the kids outside! I was amazed that few children got out in the snow to sled and make smowmen after the few snows we had this year in the northeast. As parents it is our responsibility to direct our children to healthy environments and healthy activities. Get them away from the digital screens for some time each day outside.

 To learn more about the real importance of the outdoors, listen in to the Family First program on avoiding the "nature deficit disorder." My guest Ellen Haas has been teaching kids about enjoying nature responsibly and deeply for decades and is author of several books on the subject.

Just click on this link and listen in, or download the show to your mobile dievice.  http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54356/do-our-children-have-nature-deficit-disorder.

Our indoor air is far more polluted than outdoor air in most neighborhoods. So just for the sake of breathing, it's good to get outdoors! Also there is space to move, to run, skip, roll around on the ground. Encourage free-wheeling play. And go outside yourself to set the tone. Kids are programmed to want to do what adults do, so show them how to enjoy the outdoors. Make it a family time and they will go for it and look forward to it. Take time to watch the birds and planes, to study the cloud formations, to notice the trees starting to bud with leaves. Pick up sticks around the yard, kick a ball around. Let your child make up games and play along. Laugh out loud. And they love hellping in the garden.

The rebalancing of mental moods and the physical play which happens outside helps everyone, but especially kids who seem to have attention problems. Listen in to my interview about the benefits of nature at

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54356/do-our-children-have-nature-deficit-disorder. 

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: We are all meant to connect with nature. As sophisticated as our civilization is, we are still born of this earth and require the vital energies of good air, pure water, restful energizing sleep, safe environment, quality nutrition, sunlight, and the blues and greens of the outdoors. If you want your kids to appreciate nature, you must do it with them. Kids are programmed to do what the adults around them do. So set an example by getting outside yourself and inviting them to be with you.

Why Junk Foods?

Why Junk Food?

In a highly revealing new book out this month, Michael Moss, long time reporter for the New York Times, tells of his four year investigation into the policies and marketing campaigns of the largest food processing companies during the last few decades.   In his book Salt, Sugar, Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us, Pulitzer Prize Winner Moss tells chilling stories about industry leaders who have no regard for the health effects of their products and about former executives and scientists who tried to reign in the worst of their products only to be rebuffed.    It is clear that only when the market affects the bottom line does the industry move. But even then, these companies design campaigns which get the most dollars for the least amount of actual change in their products or formulas, and often they find ways to use a health trend to their advantage to sell more junk food under a more appealing name.    A long article in the New York Times Magazine by Moss included a number of stories about lunch food for school kids, the soda industry, the yogurt industry, and more.    The bottom line is that advertising and packaging can be very misleading and the ubiquitous messages can actually wear down even the most ad resistant eater at times.    Most health experts agree that the extra salt, sugar, and fat added to our foods is what's ruining our health because these foods are addictive and the industry spends many millions a year to find out how to increase our cravings for them. These are responsible for much of our diabetes, heart disease, and obesity as well as many other chronic problems.    I have long pointed out to my nutrition clients and students that these three factors are ideal preservatives. They have been used throughout history to preserve foods. Traditionally, sugar and salt dry foods out so that they are not attractive to microbes and are less likely to spoil. Likewise fat conceals the food from microbes and tends to prevent spoilage by exposure to air.     In the past, these three were very expensive to obtain and use. They were rarely if ever used with foods which were going to be eaten before they would spoil or be contaminated. Solomon got rich from his salt mines. Much later, Europe got rich from the sugar cane grown by slaves in the Caribbean. Today, agribusiness farmers have become rich from chemical extraction of oils from seed crops.    Now salt, sugar, and fat are significantly overused because new forms have been invented, especially for sugar and fat, so that they are cheap and last virtually forever, mixed with various chemicals and preservatives in our foods.    But why use them at all? Because they taste good! We are programmed from millions of years of evolution to be attracted to sweet, salty, and fatty foods because in nature these occurred almost exclusively in highly nutritious foods. Honey, maple syrup, and milk were the only sources of sugar not attached to high fiber, slow digesting foods. Salt came only from mines. Fats were hard to extract. Only butter, olives and a few very rich seeds yielded oils which could be used for cooking or flavoring. Obtaining these concentrated salts, sugars, and fats, were time and labor intensive.    In the old days, salt, sugar, and fat flavors were a sign of a good food. They did not appear in isolation as the main ingredient in the food. Sugar usually meant a ripe fruit or a vegetable that was fully ripened and ready to eat. Salty meant a food which was rich in minerals, like a sea creature or sea vegetable or an herb. Fat meant a healthy nut or seed or wild caught animal.    We no longer get those healthy foods when we reach for a salty, sugary or fatty snack. We just get the empty calories, along with the unnatural highly processed sugars and fats, like high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated soy oil.    But why do the food processors continue to include so much of this stuff if they know it is bad for us and if they have other more modern ways to preserve foods, like refrigeration, drying, airless packaging, and more?.    It's about flavor and addiction. First, modern processed foods taste terrible all by themselves. "Like cardboard" is what most folks say when they try to eat low salt low sugar low fat foods which look like their junk food favorites. We have become habituated to highly flavored foods, but the flavor is not coming from whole, healthy, mature, natural foods. It's coming from salt, sugar, and fat, and some amazing chemicals which replicate for our taste palate the impression of the natural food. Strawberry or blueberry flavor for example.    Food product manufacturers make the cheapest product possible which the consumer will still want to consume. The basic ingredients most likely taste terrible without the added salt, sugar, or fat.    The second factor, addiction, is about our body's craving for nourishing food. We are getting the salt, sugar, and fat flavor which to our primitive brain sensors means nutrition but we don't get the nutrition. So we keep eating more of the stuff expecting to find the nourishment which just isn't there. Also, recent research has shown that these foods can have direct addictive affects on the brain's neurotransmitters, much like nicotine or other addictive substances. It is sad to realize that the food processors not only know this, they also build their campaigns around it, based on the marketing reality that it is easier to get a present customer to consume more than to attract a new customer.    But we can make choices which avoid these addictive and tasteless foods. It has been shown over and over again that when people avoid the excess salt and sugar and fat, they don't miss it at all, as long as their need for real food is being met.    People often wonder at the "will power" of folks who stick mostly with home made, minimally processed, and organic food. But there is no willpower involved. The food tastes wonderful and meets the body's needs, so there are no cravings for snacks or junk. The satisfaction of natural sweetness, natural saltiness, and natural fats comes from real foods which your brain and body can use and appreciate to build your health.    Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: As my colleague Alice Baland, author of Eat Up the Good Life and eating disorders specialist, said just this morning, "Just ignore the ads and attractive labels and ask yourself, when they tempt you, is this really going to contribute to the healthy lifestyle I want to live?"    And of course I want to recommend my own book, The True Secret to Weight Loss Is Energy. just out in 2012. It encapsulates over 40 years of my personal experience educating folks about how to attain and maintain health, healthy weight, and vibrant energy.

Romance just for the young?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

With baby-boomers hitting retirement, there is a lot in the news about staying young, changing the look of aging, grandparents who don’t slow down, and more. What about seniors who still believe in romance? The baby boomers were the love-in generation and for many of them the optimism about romance has not faded. Many stories have told of love in the mature years, but the baby boomers are bringing it to the fore. Consider the success of the movie Something’s Gotta Give, with Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson. My guest this week is Tim Carroll, author of the new book Don’t Ever Give Up on Love, which includes great stories of senior romance, including his own. Tim considers himself a “Senior Romantic” and encourages others not to give up ever on finding your romantic partner. Tim will share some stories and also share his insights on how to date in the modern world, how seniors are using social media, what to do about your past, how to handle disbelieving adult children, and more.
Simply go to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/57527/out-of-the-closet-with-senior-romance.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Setting an example of life-long love and commitment is one of the best things we can do for our children. Even if you are a grandparent, a belief that sharing your life with another is a high goal for all can be a great gift to your grandchildren and everyone around you. So don't give up on finding a partner to share your life. If you are on the second time around, avoid getting jaded or losing home. Do things you love to do and you will attract someone who feels the same way you do.

Gun Marketing Direct to Your Kids

In the last five years, gun manufacturers have begun an aggressive campaign to put guns in the hands of kids. The New York Times has published an investigative article on this effort, available now at:

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/27/us/selling-a-new-generation-on-guns.html?pagewanted=1&tntemail1=y&_r=0&emc=tnt

  

You may not know that, according to the NYT article by Mike McIntire, "The shooting sports foundation, the tax-exempt trade association for the gun industry, is a driving force behind many of the newest youth initiatives. Its national headquarters is in Newtown, just a few miles from Sandy Hook Elementary School, where Adam Lanza, 20, used his mother's Bushmaster AR-15 to kill 20 children and 6 adults last month." We cannot know if there is any relationship but it is rather a coincidence at least.

  

The industry has developed a number of studies about how to get more kids into the funnel to want to use guns and to eventually buy them as soon as they can, once they are 18. Meanwhile, many states allow kids to use guns as long as they are supervised by an adult. The initiatives include encouraging children to take up guns for recreational hunting and target shooting. Grants to various youth organizations are taking the form of supplying guns and emphasizing the "responsibility" which handling a gun teaches.

  

Another initiative is a video game using semi-automatic weapons, which game also happens to include links to gun manufacturers. The gun industry asserts that it is important to maintain the American tradition of hunting, marksmanship, and self-defense with guns.

  

The marketing effort resulted from the gun industry's awareness that sales were falling off in the last few decades.The effort to appeal  to youth includes starting very young kids with the idea of shooting, with darts, bow and arrow, or BBs. The literature suggests not using human forms as targets since this may seem violent, but rather words, like "family" or "fun."

  

I found this article very disturbing. In some cultures, in the country, where hunting is really still part of the culture, I don't have a problem with parents teaching tier children to hunt with a rifle after reaching a certain age of maturity, say 14 or later. But the need for semi-automatics for young people seems bogus, and there is no excuse for starting four or five year olds or even eight year olds shooting with life-threatening guns. The gun literature actually speaks of using guns as a way to teach maturity and responsibility. There are much safer ways to learn these life skills.

  

Another tenet is that parents are the best judges of when their children are ready to handle guns. We don't leave it up to parents to decide about when their kids can handle alcohol, cigarettes, or military duties, or when they can operate a motor vehicle, or even when they need to start school. Why would we leave it up to parents to decide when their child can handle a life-threatening weapon which can kill more people in a minute than even an out-of-control car ever could? 

  

According to the NYT article, entitled, "Selling a New Generation on Guns," "The pages of Junior Shooters, an industry-supported magazine that seeks to get children involved in the recreational use of firearms, once featured a smiling 15-year-old girl clutching a semiautomatic rifle. At the end of an accompanying article that extolled target shooting with a Bushmaster AR-15 - an advertisement elsewhere in the magazine directed readers to a coupon for buying one - the author encouraged youngsters to share the article with a parent."

  

As I am writing this in the late afternoon Thursday, there is news of a school shooting in Atlanta today in which a 14 year old girl was shot in the head and is now hospitalized while a teacher was also injured. The suspect in custody is believed to be a fellow student. 

  

Children are children because they have much to learn to take their place in human society. Full maturity is believed to be reached around age 25. A full understanding of the meaning of life and death can hardly be expected of a child of 8, 10, or 12. Putting weapons that are equivalent to those issued to trained soldiers for war operations in combat zones into the hands of our children is to be discouraged and avoided. 

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: As parents it is more important than ever that we supervise our children's environment. Digital information has made it possible to expose kids to almost any message if there is not a caring adult screening the input. Use parental controls, hang out with your kids when they are playing video games or surfing the web, or even watching TV, since web-based input is available there now too.  Remove digital devices from bedrooms, and limit daily exposure. Take the kids outside to play, and continue supervision there. lAnd talk, talk, talk about every issue that comes up. Even if you think they are not listening, they will hear you, and your words may play in their ear months or years later when it may make the most difference. 

Family Resilience for 2013!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

 Be sure to take adcantage of the over 88 great interviews with top experts and emerging expert voices on all issues related to family on "Family First" online net radio, available 24/7 on your PC or mobile, at the Voice America net talk radio netowrk, the leader in online interview shows. Simply go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first

and choose your show. The great interview with James Lee is all about optimism and resilience in the family and the society. A great resource for the end of our first month of 2013!

  For my interview with James, this link will take you directly there: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/62561/the-resilient-family.

 

Randy Rolfe Take home Tip - Home for a child is wherever a parent is. Resilience is passed on to our children when we show confidence that whatever happens we will be okay and that we will be able to care for our child no matter what. Children are born with an innate trust that their parent will guard, keep, and teach them. But the child can lose faith if we lose faith in ourselves. If you have concerns, it's okay to share them in an age appropriate manner, but always assure the child that you know all will turn out right. Kids may not believe you all the time, but deep down they will trust you because you ARE the parent. We often forget how important the parent is in this complex multi-dimensional lifestyle we live. But for the child, the parent is ALL.She or he sends all the most important cues.

Aiming at better life balance for 2013?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Have you resolved to find a better life balance in 2013? How often do we hear about the challenges modern families face with both parents working outside the home and still trying to maintain a close-knit and happy family life? Finding a balance between your roles as parent and active participant in the workplace is one of the greatest sources of everyday stress for families today. My guest this week is not only an expert on the subject but is a personal example of how to manage this balancing act. A health educator for over 30 years, Sharon Weinstein is an energetic, motivating and highly skilled nurse, nurse educator and consultant specializing in workplace wellness, corporate training programs and motivational speaking presentations. Among many other roles, she also was advisor to Central Clinical Hospital, Moscow, Russia for twelve years while raising her family and oversaw the building of a western-style International Patient Department. Among her many writings, Sharon’s book B Is for Balance is all about this issue. Listen in! Just click on the link above or this one to go direct to show, and listen online or download to any device!

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54025/creative-tips-for-finding-life-balance

This is a recording of a previous live interview but deserves repeating! Life balance can often be a continuing challenge today.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: The more parenting time and effort you dedicate in the early years of your child's life the less worry and effort it will take as the child matures. The bonding, modeling, communication, and attention to basic needs which happen in a close parent child relationship in the first months and years are irreplaceable. Simplify your child's life and your own by keeping parenting high priority in you life balance plan. Learn more in my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, available everywhere.

Why Do Powerful Men Risk It All?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Why would powerful men like General David Petraeus cheat and risk so much? We are often puzzled when famous men who seem to have it all, like public acclaim, professional success, and a loving family, throw away their career, marriage, and reputation by having an affair. Ironically, these affairs rarely turn into long-lasting relationships. Fear of infidelity plagues many marriages today.

My guest this week on “Family First,” is Terri Orbuch PhD, a marriage expert and director of a landmark 25-year, NIH government-funded study of marriage and divorce. Popularly known as "The Love Doctor," Dr. Orbuch will explain how powerful men are especially vulnerable to common traps that jeopardize marriages. She will share the 5 reasons why powerful men cheat and how power creates blind spots when it comes to self-scrutiny. Past President of the International Association for Relationship Research, she will give us some important insights into keeping a marriage safe and healthy.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Terri Orbuch PhD is a bestselling author, professor, and popular love advisor on TV, radio, and the web. She is a psychologist, a nationally known research scientist at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, and an Oakland University professor. Dr. Terri Orbuch has studied the marriage, divorce, romance, and relationship patterns of thousands of individuals nationwide for over 25 years. She blogs for Huffington Post and Next Avenue among others, and has a 20-year marriage and family therapy practice in Detroit.

Dr. Orbuch’s newest book is “Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship.” She is also author of “5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great” and several other books. Dr. Orbuch has created bedside inspirations-at-a- glance books and marriage enrichment workshops. Dr. Terri Orbuch has published over 40 articles; been quoted in such national publications as USA Today, The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Reader's Digest.

To hear the program, simply click on  the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: The fidelity and commitment between the spouses at the head of a family is not only a stabililzing force for all family members. It also serves as a model for future relationships as well as a safe haven from the compleixities of life constantly portrayed in our media. Time spent communicating, listening, sharing, empathizing, and understanding with your spouse is never a waste of time.

Talking to Teens

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Many parents feel anxious as their children approach the teenage years. Parents worry about peer pressure, losing their influence, being able to communicate effectively with their teens, wondering if they have prepared them well enough for life, asking themselves about whether they pushed too hard or not enough in academics, worrying about how much help they should give or will be allowed to give their teen as they approach young adulthood, fearing the worst when it comes to bad influences. My guest this week on Family First is Kyra Batte, a life coach to teens. She helps parents and their teens get through these uncertain years with the least hassle and the most self-assurance and resilience as possible. She will show how many of the fears felt by teens and by their parents can be overcome by healthy communication, attention to life balance, and care with self-talk. Kyra’s insights can make family life a whole lot better. Listen in and invite your teen to join us.

To hear the program, simply click on tthe link above or his link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Kyra Batte is a teen life coach in Los Angeles County. She has been a public speaker and educator for statewide and national programs toward improving the quality of life and mental health for children, teenagers, and young adults. Amongst her public speaking experiences, she recently hosted a show that garnered four million viewers worldwide, promoting self-confidence, removing critical thoughts, dealing with uncertainty and fear of failure, gaining resilience, and finding balance in life. Kyra has been able to speak to hundreds of parents and children and to educate more than one hundred school counselors, teachers, and superintendents. She has also been a published author of articles guiding parents with troubled youth in newspapers and other publications, and she has developed an outreach program for teens dedicated to getting their life on track. A graduate of the University of Arizona, she also has a background in film, theater, and dance, and was chosen Miss LA County for 2012.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Good relations with your teens depends on the trust you can build as they approach those years. but it is never too late to build trust. It takes patience and faith and good communication tools, including powerful listening!

Parenting Resolutions for 2013!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Parenting is perhaps the most important activity in all of human existence. And it can be incredibly difficult, worrisome, and exhausting, as well as exhilarating, fulfilling, and joyful. Are there simple steps which can make it easier on a day to day basis without jeopardizing long term success?

As we approach the new year and round out the hectic family holiday season, I have decided to offer my own thoughts on “Family First.” based on my more than thirty years as a family therapist and educator as well as on my own experience as a parent and on the wonderful feedback I receive from my readers who have honored me by reading my books on parenting. I want to share with you some key steps which are entirely within your control as a parent and which can dramatically ease the burden of parenting while actually gaining more respect and cooperation from your children. I will be sharing the seven secrets from my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, all seven! Please call in!

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe’s mission is to increase people’s awareness of how small choices they make every day have huge effects on their relationships, health, and happiness. Her passion to help create healthy, happy families began when her travels with her family in over 29 countries before age 20 convinced her that all peoples share common goals for their families and that a better world could be created by helping all families to thrive.

After a successful law career, Randy Rolfe founded the Institute for Creative Solutions to pursue her passion. She wrote her first book “You Can Postpone Anything But Love” in 1985 and soon became a sought after media guest expert. In addition to her law degree, Randy holds a Masters in Theology and Certification in Clinical Nutrition. She is author of eight acclaimed books on family, health, and relationships, most recently “Mothers Losing Mothers,” and “The True Secret to Weight Loss Is Energy.” She and her husband have a son and daughter, now grown.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Successful parenting starts in the parent's mind. Make parenting easier and more fun as well as more successful by using your thoughts effectively. I call it "prepared parenting!"

The Tragedy in Newtown CN

Our hearts go out to the families of the dear children and their educators who were so brutally killed at the elementary school near Newtown CN last Friday. We can hardly imagine the pain they must deal with. Also our sympathies go to the first responders, who were traumatized by the events.

  

It is human to try to make sense of the event, to look for causes or messages or lessons. Ending the lives of first graders holds no meaning whatsoever. It is yet one step more vicious than a number of vicious mass murders which have occurred in recent decades.

  

Like our President, we want to look harder now for ways to prevent these events. And a number of ways have been mentioned. I would like to discuss the most prominent.

  

First, is the recurring and contentious theme of gun violence and gun control. Why, in what we consider the most advanced nation in the world and in a time of peace, do we lead the world in killings with guns, so many more than in other advanced countries and even more than less advanced countries? I hope there will be a serious reconsideration of appropriate gun control policy at the city, state, and federal levels to help keep mass-killing weapons out of the hands of those likely to misuse them. It has been noted however that these events have increased even during a time when gun controls have increased.

  

And this takes us to the second discussion, about how to help those who have mental problems serious enough to drive them to suicide or homicide or both. We as a nation are very poor at finding out who might be in such a mental state. We could point to a lack of professionals and accurate diagnosticians who might be able to help a family dealing with a young person who is showing signs of being unable to deal with people in safe, consistent ways.

  

But even more important I think is the breakdown of community and the breakdown of the core family group. It is the adults immediately surrounding a child who are the models and stimulus to a young child.  And too many parents are more absent than on the scene. Likewise, our schools are generally too understaffed and over-burdened to recognize and help those children who avoid or resist the norms of behavior.

  

The fact is that more and more parents lack the time, money, knowledge, and support to meet the real needs of their children. There just is not enough parenting going on. It is not only parenting quality that is at stake but "parenting quantity." That is, time spent with the child, from day one to year twenty-one.

  

Research is showing that many youngsters today, in ever increasing numbers, are just not getting the necessary sequence of interpersonal and other stimulants and environmental factors to get normal brain development. But of course most of such children never turn to extreme violence.

  

This leads to a third discussion which rarely gets mentioned but may be at the heart of these extreme violent acts, Most of the perpetrators in these horrific incidents are on some kind of psychotropic drug. The stupendous growth in the use of these drugs over the last several decades coincides with the growth in the frequency of these incomprehensible acts of violence. 

  

Even the ads on TV list suicidal or violent tendencies as possible side effects for many of these mind and mood altering medications. They wouldn't have to mention these dangerous effects unless the drug researchers had seen them in their studies. Yet people continue to ask for these drugs and physicians seldom monitor people's thought patterns once they are taking the prescriptions.

  

Experts have noted that many of these drugs work by stimulating patients to become more active, which looks like they are becoming more functional, but on the down side, by stimulating them into action, the drugs also make it easier for them to carry out their more desperate feelings. For example, a patient who might otherwise be troubled by suicidal thoughts may be more prone to take action on them. After many if not most of these horrible shootings we learn that the shooter was on some kind of psychotropic medication. We seldom learn which one without major sleuthing.

  

The last area I want to look at is the media. Our 24/7 live coverage of these incidents obviously has the potential to give people who are already feeling the kinds of feelings that lead to violence against self or others new ideas about how and why to commit these crimes. Gun specialists have predicted a rise in sales of the rifle the shooter used in Newtown, ostensibly for self-protection against someone else who already has one or in order to get it before it is outlawed in reaction to the Newtown massacre. For these reasons, some have suggested that law enforcement try not to give so many details about these tragic events. But it seems unlikely that such information can be kept secret.

  

Another influence of the media which I think we need to look at is the constant barrage of advertisements which imply that if you are feeling bad for any reason, a pill will fix it. Depressed? Anxious? Grieving? Feeling disconnected? Shy? Nervous? Anti-social? Disoriented? They have a pill for you. But few studies have been done to find out if these medications really work for any length of time or in what proportion of patients their mental effects are detrimental.  .

  

Meanwhile, these drugs cover up symptoms which otherwise might lead a person to get real help, from someone professional, religious, or simply supportive, to help them through a difficult junction in their life, a period of mourning, a time of confusion, anger, or despair, and so on.

  

A number of doctors have come forward to complain that it is wrong to cover up relatively normal reactions to life by overmedicating. It is no wonder then that some people's troubles reach fever pitch and drive them to do horrific things.

  

In a nation of over 300 million people, we are bound to have some very deranged people. But they are a tiny minority. Yet it is said that over 100 million Americans are currently taking a medication which alters their mind or moods. It is likely that when a troubled person, a drug reaction, and a gun come together we have a problem. It is probably a case of the perfect storm.

  

What we see in so many cases is this perfect storm: A person who has not had their developmental or emotional needs met and who has not been able to get appropriate help gets on a medication which changes their anger and depression into actionable rage and gets access to a weapon of massive destructive power. 

  

All these factors need to be addressed in a civil society which cares about the safety and quality of life of its citizens and about the future of its children..

Preventing Colds and Flu

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

What happens around holiday time when so many people have cold or flue symptoms? How can you avoid them or limit their effects? Cold and flu are the most common infections that affect Americans. Children typically get 9 to 12 infections each year, and adults have about seven per year. Aside from making you feel miserable, these infections are the leading cause of lost work and school days. Also of not enjoying the holidays! Having the right strategies in place can cut your risk of getting sick this season. My guest this week is Jonny Bowden, known as "The Rogue Nutritionist." He is a well-known authority on ways to get and stay healthy naturally. He will tell us his top nutritional picks for cutting down the frequency and duration of colds and flu, and will explain how to protect the respiratory system, which is our first line of defense from air-born infection. A few good habits can make all the difference. So have your family listen in about keeping the holiday season healthy.

 To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Jonny Bowden, PhD, CNS, is a board-certified nutritionist with a master’s degree in psychology. He is the best-selling author of twelve books including “The 150 Healthiest Foods on Earth”, “Living Low Carb”, and “The Most Effective Natural Cures on Earth”. He has appeared on Fox News, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, NBC, and CBS and Dr. Oz’s XM Radio show as an expert on nutrition and weight loss, and has written or contributed to articles for dozens of print and online publications including New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Us Weekly, “O” The Oprah Magazine, The Daily Beast, Vanity Fair Online, Time, Oxygen, Marie Claire, and Diabetes. Men’s Health, Prevention, Natural Health, and more. Dr. Jonny is a consultant to the Natural Products Industry and serves on the advisory boards of several companies, including Barlean’s Organic Oils, Resverage and EuroPharma. His latest book, “The Great Cholesterol Myth”-- co-authored with renowned cardiologist Stephen Sinatra, MD-- came out this fall.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first, Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: It is our responsibility as parents to see to it that our home environment is a safe and nurturing place for our children's health. Clean air, clutter under control, qiuet times, and comfortable temperatures are just as important as good nourishing food. And setting a good example for healthy habits out and about is important too. Like washing hands before eating and wearing appropriate clothing in winter. Remember: Kids do as you do, not as you say! Have a very happy holiday!

Ending the Special Ed Stigma

Family First | VoiceAmerica™


How can a parent or teacher communicate to a child who has been identified as having learning differences or needing special education that they are still okay and have a great future ahead of them? What can they do about bullying or other behaviors of peers which make the child feel bad? Actually every child has her or his own learning needs and in an effort to address these needs, various programs have generated a lot of misunderstanding. My guest on Family First this week is an experienced teacher who has dedicated herself to removing the stigma attached to special education. Laura Reiff has created a book which parents can read with their special education child to help both of them deal with the many challenges ahead. Reiff’s book is “The Adventures of Naomi Noodles, The Wonderful, Amazing, Splendiforous Me.” The first of a series, it helps children and their caregivers overcome any stigma about learning differences and helps both end frustration, misunderstanding, and hurt.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Laura Reiff is a special education teacher from Chicago, IL and has been teaching children in special education for over 10 years. Her expertise inspired her to write children’s books, with a passionate mission to lift the negative stigma of special education by planting the seeds of understanding and compassion through self-esteem. Her first book about Naomi Noodles is an inspirational story about a young girl coping with dyslexia. Naomi faces the confusion of being told she is dyslexic and finds out how dyslexia can affect one’s life inside and outside of the learning environment. With a little help from a very special friend, Naomi learns how to triumph over the problems and discovers just how wonderful she truly is. Laura Reiff is also the creator of www.about-special-education.com, a website dedicated to supporting the needs of parents of children with learning disabilities. Laura offers valuable resources on her blog and also offers a coaching program for parents.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Parents are always the best advocates for their children because they know them best. The aware parent can detect problems before anyone else and inform themselves and make intelligent choices about what is best for the child. Never give up getting the educational set-up which matches best your child's needs, ranging widely, from regular classroom, to special school, to homeschooling. Secrets Number 1 and 2 in my book The Seven Secretsof Successful Parents are "I would never give up on my child" and "I pay attention first to my child's basic needs." There are great examples and strategies in the book, now available in Kindle and Nook as well as softcover.

Drug-Free Help for ADHD

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Drug-Free Help for ADHD

More and more kids are being identified as having attention deficits. Often it is assumed that ADHD is a biological imbalance which requires medication to control. But drugs don’t solve the core problem. And the kids end up with habits and labels that may have unwanted consequences for their future. My guest this week on Family First is psychologist Dr. Craig B. Wiener, who specializes in the treatment of children, adolescents, and families. He has become well-known for questioning the growing tendency to make behavioral problems into medical disabilities. His groundbreaking work with ADHD shows that the behaviors included in the ADHD diagnosis can become frequent due to reinforcement, and in his new book, “Parenting Your Child with ADHD: A No-Nonsense Guide for Nurturing Self-reliance and Cooperation,” he gives parents a powerful new drug-free way to eliminate ADHD behavior by stopping those reinforcements and instead developing their child’s self-reliance and cooperation.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Dr. Craig B. Wiener is a licensed psychologist based in Worcester, Massachusetts. He obtained his Doctorate from the Clark University and has taught in the Psychology Graduate Department at Clark University and in the Undergraduate Psychology Departments at Worcester State University and Anna Maria College. He is now Assistant Professor in the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health at the University of Massachusetts Medical School and Clinical Director of Mental Health Services at Family Health Center of Worcester, where he supervises Clinicians, Post-doctoral Fellows, and Pre-doctoral Psychology and Social Work Interns. He is the author of two books on ADHD for professionals: “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A Return to Psychology” and “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder as a Learned Behavioral Pattern: A Less Medicinal More Self-reliant Collaborative Intervention.” He is a frequent presenter on ADHD at national conferences

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: No matter what label or diagnosis an educational or medical expert puts on a child, the caring parent knows the child best and needs to explore environmental, nutritional, and habitual patterns to see if there are ways to imrpove the situation by working with the child rather than by manipulating her or his chemistry. "I never lose faith in my child" is the first of The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, my book available as ebook or soft cover everywhere.