Dealing with Parental Anger

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

When parents are angry and frustrated, and feel they can’t take any more from their kids, they usually either blow their stack and then regret it later, or try to control themselves by holding it all in. There's another option, to learn healthy, constructive ways to release all that anger and get it out of your body, safely, quickly, and efficiently. My guest this week on Family First is award-winning author and therapist Jude Bijou who says that parents should take a page from their kids' playbook.

Psychotherapist Jude Bijou has found that most kids know instinctively the healthy ways to release anger, sadness, and fear and then feel instant relief. She shows parents how to do this in an appropriate way that won't traumatize their kids' fragile psyches. Her groundbreaking discoveries appear in her book Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life and she will be sharing on Family First the simple principles which have helped countless clients and students.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 Jude Bijou, MA, MFT, is a respected psychotherapist, professional educator, and workshop leader. Her theory of Attitude Reconstruction® evolved over during her more than 30 years working with clients as a licensed marriage and family therapist. Her theory is described in her award-winning book, Attitude Reconstruction: A Blueprint for Building a Better Life. The daughter of pioneering behavioral child psychologist Sydney W. Bijou, Jude launched her private psychotherapy practice in 1982 and also began teaching communication courses through Santa Barbara City College Adult Education. Word spread about the success of Attitude Reconstruction, and Jude soon became a sought-after workshop and seminar leader. Jude is also a longtime student of Eastern philosophy, having immersed herself in the world of meditation and Vedic philosophy when she found something missing in the Western psychology approach. The result is an integrated, holistic approach to viewing ourselves and our relationships.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Always know that you are the parent and your child wants to please you, even though all the feedback you are getting seems to indicate otherwise. With this in mind, you can always take the time you need to get your feelings and thoughts straightened out. You will actually be setting a good example for your child, of patience, and of thinking and getting in touch with feelings, before "acting out" and then regretting it.

Incorrigible to Incredible: Some Dog Lessons

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Some relationships are more difficult than others. Sometimes a friend or even a child can be difficult to handle. They can try your patience and seem incorrigible. Can we learn some tricks from our four-footed friends? My guest this week on Family First says absolutely! Charmaine Hammond is an international transformational speaker, author, and radio host, helping people live inspired, resilient lives, and she is a leading trainer in corporate North America, helping transform workplaces.

Charmaine Hammond is the award winning and bestselling author of On Toby’s Terms and Toby The Pet Therapy Dog – and his hospital friends, and also Bounce Forward. She has been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul - What I learned from the dog. She is now coauthoring a new book GPS Your Best Life. Her book On Toby’s Terms is currently in development to become a major motion picture! Get your whole family to listen in. Charmaine will be sharing Toby’s lessons!

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Charmaine Hammond, MA, BA, is an expert in Conflict Analysis and Management and opened Hammond International Inc. in 1997, a mediation and training company. For the past 8 years she has been speaking and consulting with business and community organizations. Prior to owning her own business Charmaine worked as a Contract Specialist for Government, was the Executive Director of several not for profit organizations, worked with municipal government in their contract management, and served as a Correctional Officer, Child & Youth Care Worker.

Charmaine’s passion for speaking led her to be the host of three radio shows: “Corporate Conversations with Charmaine,”  “PAWsitive Radio,” and “Your Book as a Business.” She has been featured on CBC, CTV, Global TV, 820 CHAM, Alberta Prime Time News, in many major newspapers including Metro News National Canada, US and New York, and in various magazines. She also supports many pet and children related charities and events as a result of her work with Toby.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Our pets have personalities, stresses, and emotions just as we do. By watching our animal friends and paying attention to how to respond to their needs, we can learn to be more responsive to each other's! Having a pet is a great way for children to learn empathy for others when they have your good example to follow. So see that when you interact with your pets, you are modeling compassion and attention to their needs, not just for shelter and food, but also for attention, companionship, appreciation, and respect. 

What Peace Day Means for Family

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Our children are exposed daily to news of violence, war, fleeing refugees, children orphaned by conflict. How do we help empower them to believe they can be part of making the world a safer, fairer, more peaceful place? This is one of the goals of the September 21 celebration of the United Nations International Day of Peace, a day of ceasefire and non-violence celebrated world wide. My guest on Family First this week is Lisa Parker, who helped to found Peace Day Philly in 2011, believing that Peace Day holds a great opportunity for cities across the world, including Philadelphia. She serves as coordinator of the initiative for 2012, and is Co-Chair of the CITIES Peace Team, an international sub-committee of the International Day of Peace NGO Committee at the United Nations. The CITIES Peace Team shares models, practices, and resources related to Peace Day observances and helps increase connectivity of cities across the world that promote and/or organize observances for Peace Day.

To hear the program , simply click on the link above or go to:http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first this Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Lisa Parker is a Philadelphia native and a social worker by training. She received her Bachelor’s Degree in 1986 and a Masters Degree in social service program planning and development in 1993. Lisa has worked in various social services, educational, mental health, and public health programs in Philadelphia and especially with children, youth, and families, and with refugee populations. Lisa also has experience in the areas of non-profit consulting and anti-bullying activities in schools, as well as with visual and expressive arts. .In addition to her work with the Peace Day Initiative, Lisa is also a Representative for Global Education Motivators (GEM) to the United Nations Department of Pubic Information (DPI). GEM is a Philadelphia based non-profit that uses video conferencing to encourage a greater global perspective, especially among high school and college youth, through a wide range of intercultural dialogues and exposure to the work of the United Nations.  

To hear the program , simply click on the link above or go to:http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first this Friday at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Our children learn primarily by imitation. How do we resolve conflicts within our own home? It's a good idea to think about your patterns of interaction because these are the models our children take with them when they go to school, to work, create a home, or operate in the larger arenas of public and global affairs. Do we take time to hear the points of view on all sides? Do we avoid passing judgment or demeaning the party we disagree with? Do we stay patient until a mutually agreeable solution appears? Do we have cooling off periods if the emotions are running rampant? Do we use respectful language and tones? Our example goes a long way to creating a more peaceful home and world.

Turn frustration and anger into peace and composure

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Parents have lots to feel upset about today, with pressure from the economy, pressure from jobs, pressure from the normal responsibilities at home which don’t diminish with these other added pressures, and then extra pressure to have their children succeed in school so they won’t be unemployed, plus daily pressure from advertisers to keep up with the social competition. No wonder parents’ patience can wear thin and anger begins to affect family relationships. Kids too get angry. They feel pressure to achieve, feel the stress of keeping up, and have less time and support from parents.

My guest this week is Jules Shuzen Harris Sensei, a leader in the teaching of Zen Buddhism, and the founder and Vice Abbot of Soji Zen Center in Lansdowne, PA. Buddhist philosophy has grown in popularity over the last fifty years because of its unique approach to handling powerful emotions through methods to calm the mind and relieve our stress, which methods Shuzen will share with us.

To hear the show live online, click on the above link at 1 pm PT/2 pm MT/3 pm CT/4 pm ET. The show is also archived for on demand, download, or podcast.

Jules Shuzen Harris Sensei received Shiho from Enkyo Roshi at the Wisdom House in Litchfield, Connecticut and became her second Dharma successor. Shuzen is a member of the Zen Peacemakers Sangha, the Soto Zen Buddhist Association, and the American Zen Teachers Association. Shuzen is a Soto Priest who has practiced Buddhism for more than 25 years. In August 2006, Shuzen received Hoshi from Enkyo Roshi at the Grail. In May 2002, Shuzen, an assistant teacher at Kanzeon Zen Center, Salt Lake City, UT, received Denkai (transmission of the precepts) from Genpo Roshi, Abbott of the Center.

Jules Shuzen Harris holds an Ed.D. with a concentration in applied human development. As a psychotherapist, Shuzen has found creative ways to synthesize Western psychology and Zen to achieve dramatic results for patients and students. He also holds black belts in Iaido (the use of a samurai sword) and in Kendo (Japanese fencing). He founded two Japanese swordsmanship schools in Albany, NY and Salt Lake.

To enjoy Jules' insights live, click on the above link this Friday at 4 pm ET/3 pm CT/2 pm MT/1 pm PT. The show is also archived for podcast, on demand, RSS, and download anytime.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip: Thomas Jefferson said to count to ten when your blood starts to boil. Most of the things that make us angry are just things over which we have no control when we thought we did. Rethink the situation and don't let outside circumstances change your inner state of peace and joy! Remember, your example is more powerful than you can imagine for how your children will later handle their circumstances.

What’s With Today’s Weddings?

After all the flowers, caterers, favors, videographers,
expensive gowns and decorations, what does today’s wedding really mean to the
bride and groom or to the guests? Are weddings just a big party? Many young
couples want their weddings outside of conventional settings or just outside.
Can there still be mystery, a spiritual bonding, a sense of the miraculous? My
guest Paul Mayer has officiated at hundreds of weddings and has found a way to bring
back the transformational meaning traditional cultures saw in weddings.

To hear Paul's brilliant approach to today's weddings, tune in this Friday at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/57020/whats-with-todays-weddings.

Mayer’s wedding ministry came to him after over half a century of leadership in the
cause of peace and justice, from civil rights work with Reverend Martin Luther
King, Jr. to efforts regarding Central America, the Vietnam War, the Soviet
Union, Israeli-Palestinian relations, Japanese Atomic Bomb Survivors, Cuba,
and the Climate Crisis. Father Mayer will share his powerful insights about how
weddings and family can help to create a better world.

Paul Mayer is a non-canonical, formerly married priest. His
experience as a young Jewish refugee from Nazi Germany inspired him to cofound
Children of War to help young survivors of wars. Becoming Catholic and then a
Benedictine monk, his work with Dr. King in the 1965 voting rights campaign set
him on a lifelong path of organizing for global peace, social justice, ecology,
and non-violent social change.

His efforts have included pioneering liberation
theology in Central America, working with Jesse Jackson in the Rainbow Coalition, addressing the 1984 Democratic Convention on nuclear disarmament, coordinating the Catonsville Nine Defense Committee in support of religious non-violent action, and working with other world luminaries of the last 50 years. Most recently he cofounded the Climate Crisis Coalition and has received honors for his non-fiction writing. His new book, Wrestling With Angels: A Spiritual Memoir of A Political Life, is due for publication soon.

To hear Paul's brilliant approach to today's weddings, tune in this Friday at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/57020/whats-with-todays-weddings.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip: The tone of the parents' relationship sets the tone for the relationships with the children. Take time to reenforce your primary relationship as parents. When we show love and respect and patience with our spouse, our children learn by example how to treat each other and others outside the familly. Celebrate your relationship regularly and let your kids know how important it is to you.