Back to School Tips

Back to School Tips

Before your child starts another year of school, it can help to get in touch with exactly what is the role of school in your family's life? Although home school can be an option, most families do delegate schooling to our government or privately supported school systems. But for each family what role the school plays can be different and can change over time. It can vary from on the one hand setting up the family's whole life around the school activities to on the other hand letting the child deal with school on his own and continuing as usual with family patterns as before.  
 

It is good to know where you stand on this continuum and discuss it with your spouse or partner, if any, in parenting, so that you can avoid misunderstandings and potential conflict later. If one parent wants to oversee all homework projects before play and the other would rather see the child play until it's dark and then do what she or he can on her or his own, the child will be caught in the middle and maybe even figure out how to get her or his own way which may not suit either parent.

As we would expect, most studies of how children function in school suggest that moderation is key. Children must find their own way to adjust to the rigors of school, but they also, as children, need the guidance and support of their parents.

Some intriguing studies have shown that children's report cards improved when the parents took more of a hands off approach, avoiding adding pressure to the pressure already inherent in the school teaching environment. Offer answers and help when asked, but avoid micromanaging their school interactions.

There is plenty to do at home as a parent,. Setting schedules is much easier if it is done before school starts, or at least early in the year. Depending on the child's age and maturity, do what you can to involve the child in setting the schedule. But remember who is in charge and be sure there are enough hours for sleep, breakfast and dinner, and family social time. That pretty much uses up whatever is left after school and homework. But these parts of a child's day are every bit as important as schooling.

It is during these family times that children pick up what is important and valuable to their parents, what lifestyle choices will stand them in good stead for life, and how to interact in a more comfortable informal setting, rather than the largely artificial setting of school, where a hoard of children respond to a few authoritative adults who are non-family and where the day is broken up into managed segments over which the child has no control.

Be sure to take time before and after school to greet the child with caring and a smile. Try to avoid last minute reminders in the morning, or grilling in the afternoon. The child will tend to have more self-confidence if it is clear that the parent-child relationship is still more important than the child-school relationship.

And let go of perfectionist tendencies. Kids will make mistakes, forget their assignment, forget their ball, forget what the teacher said, etc. If you give them space without shame to do better next time, they will learn much more quickly than if they think they have let you down.

Make sure their home diet is up to your standards, as the challenges at school regarding diet can be daunting. Studies show that if quality food, which is relatively free of chemical additives, fabricated food products, and highly refined or artificially flavored foods, is made available to kids, they will tend to eat a healthy diet over the course of a week. So make meals a fun social time, not a stressful time for lectures.  And also be careful about body image issues.

But do have meals. Have the kids help prepare them and they will be better eaters. And be sure to have healthy snacks for after school. The parent's example is always stronger than anyone else's, especially in the early years.

There's a lot to think about, but the pay-off is worth it. So many children today are missing breakfast, not getting a good night's sleep, and then snacking on sugary and/or chemical-laden drinks, candies, and baked goods. It is no wonder attention and behavior problems are on the rise.

Encourage your children to have compassion for those kids, but let them know you are serious about your job to help them avoid these problems.

You can find much more in my books, You Can Postpone Anything But Love, and The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Just as parents have a whole lot going on in their work day, whether at a job, as an entrepreneur, or as home administrator, so children have a full day at school. Their stresses can be just as frustrating and depleting, or as satisfying and enlivening, as our day has been. So we do well to respect their experiences and listen compassionately when they share them. Remember that your child's emotional life is at least as complex as your own. That way you both will feel better when you are sharing your mornings and evenings and weekends together. http://www.parenthoodtools.com.

Freedom to Work, Rest, Play Parents today have so many pressing calls on their attention that it can be crucial to remind ourselves exactly what we are about. As in any other enterprise, and this is the most important one, the clearer we are about our basic tasks the more successful we will be. As parents, we do not have a clod of dirt on our hands that we must mold into a decent human being. Instead we have a human spirit determined to grow and manifest her or his greatness. Our task is to create a healthy environment where this can take place. Because of our superior age, knowledge, and experience, we can create that healthy environment as long as we are not distracted by an endless array of other "shoulds." Like a bigger house, more cars, a better school, a more up-to-date phone, a better position on the team, a better job or income for the bread-winner, and so on. Not that these aren't important, they just need to be held in their proper place of priority. So what is a healthy environment for our child? Let's take the school-age child, for example. She or he needs exactly what we want too for ourselves: the freedom to do meaningful work, to get the rest and relaxation we need, and to have the place and time to play and have fun. If we keep these priorities in mind, scheduling becomes easier, setting reasonable rules becomes easier, and encouraging contribution to the chores of a home also becomes an integral part of family life. But we, as the parents, must understand that we are the rule-makers in our own home. Too many parents today assume they are supporting their children by letting them have absolute freedom. If this worked, nature would not have put us in change for 10 to 20 years, depending on your culture. To give just one example of a need for parental limits, a recent study, which included thousands of people around the world, demonstrated that when you go to bed is much more important for getting the rest you need, than what time you get up. For parents that means setting a bedtime which is 8 to 9 hours before the child must get up, and this is up to you. When I was a child, my pre-school teacher asked my mother why I was so easy-going and never got cranky in school. Mom told her that she didn't really know, but that we were sent outside to play every afternoon for a couple of hours and were tucked into bed at 8 every night. Today, parents must shut off video games, smart phones, and initiate a real conversation eye to eye to create a healthy environment for proper sleep. But it is worth it. I had many family counseling clients who were amazed that parenting issues like bad attitude, poor school performance, and "laziness" were often completely eliminated by seeing that the child had enough sleep. In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, you can find the other eleven basic needs of children, besides good sleep. As many have said before, freedom must be coupled with discipline. But not discipline of the children so much as self-discipline of the parents. Set a good example in your own life, be gentle but consistent and persistent, make a healthy environment a given in your home, and parenting will be a whole lot easier.  Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Remember your child wants the wisdom and protection only you can provide, whether it appears that way at the moment or not. Be patient, listen, and then be clear what your rules and standards are. For more, visit my new websites! http://motherhoodtools.com and http://parenthoodtools.com.

What's with Our Schools?

When I was looking for an image of school for this article, I found only smiling faces of students fully engaged in the classroom or having fun on the playground, or smiling as they read their books.

  

These images of school can be misleading. The news is filled with stories of failing school systems, cities that can't afford their schools anymore, new programs that tend to marginalize even faster the lower tier of kids, declining competency at high school and college levels, violence and dropouts across the country, and increasing prevalence of depression, attention issues, and drug use among our school youth. Our kids are not all smiles in our schools.

  

Some experts are taking a longer view of schooling than we usually hear about. For example, John Taylor Gatto, who won accolades for his work in the New York State School System, has written extensively on how schools actually fail to educate our students. We have a serious disconnect between, on the one hand, our popular conception that a good education opens doors, builds leaders, and fosters creative and critical thinking and, on the other hand, a system of education which was developed over a hundred and fifty years ago to create obedient soldiers and was further refined a hundred years ago to create obedient employees to fuel the industrial revolution.

  

Today kids who have access to global information on their smart phones are less and less likely to take to the regimentation of conventional schooling unless they personally feel the specific training a particular class affords is something they really want. When books were hand-copied back when the first schools emerged a few thousand years ago, a few lucky kids were sent to academy to get the specialized knowledge of the professions. But the vast majority of children learned all they needed to know from their PARENTS. And even then not from instruction by parents so much as from being around them, helping them at whatever their own skill level was at the time, watching them closely, and being inspired by their maturity and skills.

  

Now many parents I talk with seem eager to send their children off to school and have delegated all that traditional educational responsibility to institutions that were ill-equipped from the beginning to fill the bill. Meanwhile the economy has forced middle class parents and even upper class parents to think they must both work in order to give their children the advantages they need to succeed in life. They assume that they must give up their children to these institutions.

  

We have no idea what the emotional costs are to this new pattern of family life. Many of the specialists studying these consequences have themselves delegated their parenting to these institutions, so they will have a bias against deciding that they and their children are suffering as a result. Today young mothers don't even know what they may be missing by going back to work so soon, because their own mothers did it too. 

  

Such commentators as Ivan Illich and Henry Giroux and many others such as leading advocates of home schooling, John Holt and Robert E. Kay, have addressed these issues in great depth and deserve serious investigation. Giroux recently labeled schools "dead zones of the imagination."

  

 Meanwhile, since most families will be sending their children to school, what are parents to do?

  

First, be clear where school ends and parenting begins. Avoid becoming the school enforcer at home. Be the parent and demonstrate life and living to your children by being with them and having them with you as much as possible. Ethics, courtesy, self-restraint, emotional processing, meaningful friendship, optimism, graciousness, kindness, healthy daily habits, strength of character and more are still best learned at home.

  

Second, be clear with your children that school is their responsibility. Don't intervene or check on grades unless asked by your child. Let them know that it is your decision to have them go to school and tell them why, in age-appropriate ways. It is better that they know that it is your decision than that they believe the state can force you, their parent who is in charge of their well-being, to do something against your will. If you want your child to believe she or he has control over their destiny, then you need to let them know you believe you have control over yours. 

  

Third, don't quiz or test your child. There is already way too much of this in school. A few fascinating experiments with children have demonstrated that they learn more and retain more when not rated, compared, embarrassed, or put on the spot to prove they are absorbing information. Watch closely to check their growing competence without making them feel always on the block.

  

Fourth, honor your child's reactions to school events, academic and otherwise. Listen and suggest. Don't jump in with solutions unless sincerely asked for your advice. Children will come up with their own solutions if they have a caring, engaged, respected, and trusted listener who can affirm their ability to handle their own problems.  

  

Fifth, protect your child's home environment and lifestyle. Make sure they get good food, good sleep, good relaxation, private space, time to play, good self-care routines, and caring supervision of their external connections - that is, social media and time with friends. These physical factors make a huge difference in whether they can weather the challenges of this rather strange institution we have invented called school.

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Don't be a substitute teacher at home. Remain the parent. Support your child in her or his activities away from home, including school, but only set safe parameters. Don't try to control or direct. Your job is to be the parent, to love, protect, set an example, guide, not to be homework cop or otherwise enforcer of school directives. When children realize school is their responsibility, studies show they are much more willing to perform what needs to be done to make it in school.

  

Lessons of Unschooling

I recently gave a talk at a wonderful and stimulating event in the White Mountains of New Hampshire called Life Rocks, which was a week-long gathering of families who are on the cutting edge of freedom in parenting and education. Founded by Dayna Martin with her husband and kids, the event brings together hundreds of families to share and explore their experiences, wisdom, and vision for a family-centered child-rearing experience, to encourage their children to become creative, capable, confident, and happy adults.

  

Author of Radical Unschooling, Dayna also directs the Rethinking Everything conference in Texas in August. She was my guest on my radio show "Family First," and I encourage you to listen to the show at

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/65485/radical-unschooling.

  

Not all families will want to educate their children at home, though more and more are choosing to do so. Those who have done it have learned much that can be of value to those who have chosen to take advantage of our many kinds of school systems. The contrast between letting kids learn what they need through living rather than formal schooling and sending kids to school for twelve to twenty years is often dramatic. Most notably, the children do not come to assume that someone else is in charge of their schedule, their learning, their work contribution, and their income. They take responsibility early for their own future.

  

In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, I included an Appendix describing why my husband and I decided to educate our son and daughter at home. In brief, it was primarily to give them more freedom to explore what they were most interested in at any given time and to give us all more family time so that they could learn more from us, their parents, as well as to have more fun enjoying each other as a family. You will find much more detail in the book, but my point is that all parents can focus on these things without going all the way to home education.

  

What we find in family-focused child-rearing is that children are naturally curious, naturally want to learn, and don't need to be prodded, "taught" responsibility, caring, or contribution. They want to help, want to do important things, want to imitate the adults they respect.

  

Making time together is the most important thing you can do for your children. Choose things you like to do and share these with your child. Then pick things they like to do and facilitate their activities and your own participation. Create an example of inquisitiveness in your own life. Create lots of opportunities for seeing, hearing, exploring, traveling, reading, playing, dancing, drawing, singing, building. If your child is in school, it's harder to find these times, but maximize the opportunities during vacations and on weekends. Don't let school and sports and extracurricular activities prevent your time together.

 

Child-led learning is the natural pattern among traditional peoples and it works just as well for us now. The best teachers in our school systems try to tap in to what turns a child on and show them their own competence around that subject to bolster their performance in other areas. Who is in a better position than a parent to know their child's passions, needs and wants? And who else can figure out better what each child needs for guidance, healthy limits, and healthy freedoms at different ages and stages? Too often today parents are asked to abdicate this all important role. Hold on to it and your children will thrive. You will be happier too!

  

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: You Can Postpone Anything But Love.TM Making time to be with your children is the best thing you can do as a parent. Children learn by example and you are it! See that your lifestyle and relationship habits model what you want from your child, and be there to help them interpret what they see and hear from the all-pervasive media. Make time to do fun things together and to listen to their stories. Take time to find out what they would like to do to have fun. Go hiking, watch a game, play a video game with you, go to a fancy restaurant, visit a dairy or a TV studio? Whatever it is, make it happen together.

Radical Unschooling?

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

We hear a lot about how our educational systems are flawed and are both failing our kids and stressing our economy at the local, state, and federal levels. It may be that we have demanded far too much of our schools. They were designed to teach kids the basic skills they need to function in the modern world. But now as a society we have come to expect them to sit for our children before and after academic hours and to be primarily responsible for teaching basic health, sportsmanship, moral values, compassion for others, and more.

But it’s not working. These functions have been the responsibility of parents throughout history until only a few decades ago. Some parents are taking back that responsibility and my guest this week on “Family First” is a leader in this “unschooling” movement. Dayna Martin is Founder, Creator, and Conference Diva of Life Rocks! an annual conference in New Hampshire where families come together to learn, have fun, and share their experiences.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Dayna is a pioneer who has been inspiring others in the conscious parenting and unschooling movement for the past decade. Author of "Radical Unschooling: A Revolution Has Begun", and her newest book, "Sexy Birth." She has been featured on The Dr. Phil Show, CNN, Nightline, and Fox News. Dayna is a childbirth educator, Doula and attachment parenting advocate who helps families worldwide as, "The UnNanny."

Dayna is a regular contributor to Home Education Magazine. She also recently took over the “Rethinking Everything” Conference in Dallas, Texas. Dayna promotes shifting from control to connection with children and inspires parents to respect their children through partnership parenting. Dayna lives in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, U.S.A., and has four truly free children and husband who she spends her days with in love, freedom and peace. Dayna will share about her belief that Radical Unschooling and attachment parenting can make a more peaceful world.

To hear the program, simply click on  the link above or on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: There is a reason kids have parents. Societies have experimented from time to time with doing away with parenting by raising kids in groups with groups of adults watching over them. These experments all fail. All mammals have a period of time where they are dependant on and are taught by their parents to survive and thrive. Our pattern of child-rearing is far older than our species because it works. We have complex social relationships and provisioning skills (now usually devolved to jobs and shopping) which must be learned. The parent-child relationship is meant to work but it only works if you work it. Be proud of your role as a parent and don't try to trim down the time or effort you spend on it or to delegate too much of it to others.Your kids were born to expect good parenting and they depend on you!

 

How to help a child struggling in school

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

When a child struggles to learn, it can snowball into a much bigger problem. Parents worry about behavior in school, social skills, math, reading, and writing problems, organizational challenges, how to interact with teachers, whether to consider medications, and more. Especially in a competitive job market, parents feel pressure even in the early childhood years to see that their children succeed at school. My guest Dr. Richard Selznick has many years experience helping families to resolve these problems. He is the author of the new book School Struggles: A Guide to Your Shut-Down Learner's Success, which builds on the well received information in his previous book The Shut-Down Learner: Helping Your Academically Discouraged Child. He offers practical, straightforward advice which has helped educators, school psychologists, and parents. Dr. Selznick shows parents and teachers how to address the problems felt by struggling students and how to help them learn to their full ability.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Dr. Richard Selznick is a psychologist, nationally certified school psychologist, graduate school professor, and university professor of pediatrics. As the Director of the Cooper Learning Center, he oversees a program that assesses and treats a broad range of learning and school-based behavioral problems in children. The Cooper Learning Center is a Division of the Department of Pediatrics of Cooper University Hospital. A down-to-earth presenter who discusses difficult topics in non-jargon terms, he has presented to educators in Dubai and Abu Dhabi as well as across the United States. He focuses on helping teachers and parents to choose the best options for each individual child. .Dr. Selznick’s books have been chosen by school districts for professional training. He was recently the keynote speaker on help for special needs kids and was featured in Calgary Child's Magazine. A native of New York, Dr. Selznick lives in Haddonfield, New Jersey. His website is www.shutdownlearner.com.

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

 

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: Parents are the most able to discover early if their child is struggling with learning. If you suspect that your child isn't catching on to recognizing letters or short common words or knowing the sounds associated with letters, don't assume she or he will have a problem all through school but also don't assume these early signs will go away by themselves. Spending time with your child, reading together, singing together, and playing with words and rhymes will help build their confidence and success.   

Energize and Focus for the Fall Season!

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Energizing Your Family’s Fall Season!   

Does the end of summer have you feeling drained? Many parents look forward to the summer to do things with the children and be free of school and sports schedules. But then by the end of summer they are looking forward to the discipline of the school day and week, only to find the readjustment stressful and even overwhelming.

This week health author, fitness expert, and award-winning pharmacist Sherry Torkos returns to Family First as our guest to share great practical tips for making that readjustment with greater ease and with confidence that you are protecting your family’s health and well-being. Sherry Torkos has researched a number of critical health issues and is gifted at making the scientific information accessible to the general public through her many books on various aspects of health. As a mother herself, she has explored many child health issues. She now will share some quick energy dos and don'ts that will get you and your children feeling energized for fall.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or go to this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Sherry Torkos is a pharmacist, author, certified fitness instructor, and health enthusiast who enjoys sharing her passion with others. Sherry graduated with honors from the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy and Science in 1992. Since that time she has been practicing holistic pharmacy in the Niagara region of Ontario. Her philosophy of practice is to integrate conventional and complementary therapies to optimize health and prevent disease. Sherry has won several national pharmacy awards for providing excellence in patient care. As a leading health expert, she has delivered hundreds of lectures to medical professionals and to the public.

Sherry Torkos is frequently interviewed on radio and TV talk shows throughout North America and abroad on health matters. Sherry has authored 16 books and booklets, including The Canadian Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine, The Glycemic Index Made Simple, and most recently, Saving Women’s Hearts. 

To hear the program, simply click on this link: http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday at 1 pm PT, 2 pm MT, 3 pm CT, 4 pm ET, or any time afterwards online, or on podcast or apps.

Randy Rolfe Take Home Tips: There is such a thing as too busy! Be clear about your true priorities and when things get too hectic, cut back on the less important things. When we are feeling stressed, we are often tempted to skimp on self-care, like sitting down to eat, taking a walk, taking a leisurely shower or bath, choosing a healthy snack. But when things get wild, these activities become even more important because they allow your body to take a break and refuel, relax, regenerate. Forcing yourself to go, go, go when you are getting signals of overload mean that you will be forced to stop, probably when you can't afford to. What will stop you? Pain, accident, exhaustion, or a cold or flu. Chronic stress results in immune depression and you are more vulnerable than usual. So take extra care of yourself and urge family members to do so when the days get hectic!

 

Positive Touch - How to reduce bullying, violence, abuse, discontent

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

Today’s news is filled with atrocious cases of child abuse, domestic violence, and sexual abuse. Some parents are so worried that any touch might be misinterpreted that they avoid it. And many schools are becoming so sensitive, because of incidents of corporal punishment or sexual contact, that they are not allowing any touch at all. My guest this week on Family First is Eva Scherer. Eva has been the leader of a movement in New Zealand to teach children to massage each other.

Eva believes we are becoming a touch-deprived society, which may contribute to many of the problems kids have today. Her programs have helped kids gain self-esteem, be less aggressive, be better learners, and understand positive versus negative touch. She will share the reasons for her programs, the results they have had, and how facilitating positive touch between parent and child and between child and child can have many benefits for children of all ages and prepare them for a healthier adult life.

To hear the program, simply click on the link above or go to:http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first Friday July 20 at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Eva Scherer is a professional body worker and the owner of several sports and therapeutic massage clinics in Auckland, New Zealand. As a result of her knowledge of massage and of how massage has helped children in Europe, she studied at the University of Miami’s Touch Research Institute to develop her own program to introduce positive touch for children. She is the founder of the Kids Love Massage Programme, the Children Massaging Children Programme, and the Child Connection Trust. Established in 2000, the Trust aims to introduce massage into the mainstream education system as a low-cost prevention for child abuse and family violence.

Her Children Massaging Children (CMC) Programme has won the North Shore Mayoral Community 

Award and has benefited children at community centers and schools in New Zealand as well as overseas. Her program also has a strong branch in Poland which extends the Children Massaging Children Programme from Kindergarten into homes. Eva Scherer is a member of Massage Australia, Infant Mental Health Association NZ, and Attachment Parenting International. She is also a mother and grandmother.

To hear Eva Scherer’s insights, simply click on the link above or go to:http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/1916/family-first this Friday July 20 at 1 PM PT, 2 PM MT, 3 PM CT, 4 PM ET, or any time afterwards on podcast or apps.

Take Home Tips from Randy Rolfe: Human experience has shown that close physical contact between children and their parents from birth helps to build confidence and trust which can last a lifetime. It can actually help prevent confusion between aggressive touch and respectful touch as the child grows older. Give your children lots of hugs and encouraging shoulder pats or hand holds and they will be less likely to crave attention in less safe situations.  

Latest word on ADHD

Family First | VoiceAmerica™

More and more children today are being diagnosed with learning disabilities, and at earlier and earlier ages. Schools have difficulty meeting the needs of kids with learning differences, and some kids can affect the whole classroom when they become bored or confused. Parents face difficult choices when they hear ADHD: get supplemental schooling, change schools, use questionable medications, try alternative health approaches, check environmental factors, hire tutors, or try home education?

 My guest this week is Sherry Torkos, an award winning pharmacist, health author, and fitness expert who has researched a number of critical health issues and made the scientific information accessible to the general public through her many books on different topics. As a mother herself, she has explored many issues of child health and will share with us what we actually know about ADHD and how parents can recognize it, minimize it, or prevent it in their children through methods which really work. 

Click on the above link this Friday May 4, at 1pm PT/2pm MT/3pm CT/4pm ET, to hear Sherry Torkos on ADHD and learning differences. The program is also archived for on demand and download later!

Sherry Torkos is a pharmacist, author, certified fitness instructor, and health enthusiast who enjoys sharing her passion with others. Sherry graduated with honors from the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy and Science in 1992. Since that time she has been practicing holistic pharmacy in the Niagara area. Her philosophy of practice is to integrate conventional and complementary therapies to optimize health and prevent disease. Sherry has won several national pharmacy awards for providing excellence in patient care.  

As a leading health expert, Sherry has delivered hundreds of lectures to medical professionals and the public. She is frequently interviewed on radio and TV talk shows throughout North America and abroad. Sherry has authored fourteen books & booklets, including The Glycemic Index Made Simple and Breaking the Age Barrier. Her most recent book, The Canadian Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine has become a national bestseller. She has a very helpful website at www.sherrytorkos.com.

Click on the link at the top of this message to hear Sherry Torkos' insights. The program is live at 4pm ET/3pm CT/2pm MT/1pm PT on Friday May 4. It is also archived for on demand or download indefinitely!.

Take Home Tips from Randy Rolfe: Frequent, loving interaction between parent and child is the best way to see that a child's brain, behavior, and perception develop normally. It is also the best way to notice if something doesn't seem right so that you can investigate further to see what adjustments you can make to the environment or your interactions to minimize any developmental delays.

Why homeschool?

Family First VoiceAmerica™

Our news is filled with the challenges in today’s schools, including peer pressure, precocious sex and drinking, drugs, drop-outs, learning differences, burned out teachers, bullying, poor test scores, too much about fashion and cliques, budget cutbacks, violence, smart phone distractions, and more. Many parents are looking for alternatives. For some, charter schools or online schools seem the answer. Others push for school reforms at the district, state and federal levels. More and more families are considering homeschooling. My guest this week is Peter Bergson, one of the pioneers in the homeschooling movement. He founded Open Connections with his wife Susan Shilcock in 1978 and has been a leader in the theory and practice of what he calls “open education.” He will share his own path to homeschooling as well as the many reasons parents are considering home schooling and the many options parents have in structuring a truly nurturing environment for their kids of any age.



Just go to this website at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT, 3 PM, or 2 PM MT or any time afterwards on archive - on your smart phone app, PC, as MP3. click on: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58848/why-homeschool. If you go to this page you can also Bookmark the page very easily to any social media by using the function at the bottom of the page. Also you can link the page to any email or site.

Peter Bergson is the father of 4 and grandfather of 5 homeschoolers/ unschoolers. In 1978, he and his wife, Susan Shilcock, who passed away in 2005, opened Open Connections, a preschool/kindergarten program. Soon
they became friends with John Holt and “OC” morphed into a resource center for self-directed learners ages 4 to 18. OC currently flourishes on a 28-acre campus in suburban Philadelphia, serving a 100 homeschooling/ unschooling families with programs to help young people to pursue their interests in a community that nurtures collaboration and creativity. Peter and Susan co-authored Open Connections: The OTHER Basics,
and he created an instruction manual titled Spaces for Children: Learning Environments for Work and Play.. Having retired as OC’s Executive Director, Peter serves on the Board, writes articles for The OC Magazine, works on a future book titled Parenting for Pleasure, promotes the “open education” concept, and loves his two full days weekly spent with his grand-ones.

To hear Peter Bergson's wisdom after almost 30 years helping families to home educate their children, go to: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58848/why-homeschool. Listen live this Friday or any time afterwards at this site.

Randy Rolfe's Take home Tip: No matter what a child's school experience, the parents are the first and most influential teachers. So be careful what you teach! Humans learn primarily by doing and usually by doing which they see others do. So the example you set in everything you do will have a huge influence on your child. Read in front of them and with them, talk about important issues and interesting events with them, be physically active with them and live a healthy lifestyle. These will set your child up for a successful and happy life.

Might your child be a right-brain learner?

Family'>http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner">Family First VoiceAmerica™

Teachers and schools are more and more frustrated with children who are falling behind expectations and may eventually become discipline problems. What can a parent do when their child takes a long time todo homework and is way too stressed out by it, or struggles with reading comprehension even though he or she is smart, or doesn’t perform well on standardized tests, which are becoming ever more important in academicadvancement?

Parents are often hit with negative labels like Dyslexia, Learning Disability, ADHD, or just “lazy.”

My guest this week is Mark Halpert, a parent and educator who together with his wife Mira decided to do something about this issue when two of their four children were identified as having learning challenges. They founded and now run the 3D Learner Center in Boca Raton, FL and have helped over 2000 students to go from Stress to Success. Listen in to learn about how children can be significantly helped by simply adapting learning to their learning style.

Just click on this link and listen live Friday at 4 PM ET or 1 PM PT, or any time after the show on archive for PC or download, MP3 or RSS, etc.: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner

Mark Halpert is an educator, a parent advocate, and a parent himself. When two of their children were identified as gifted and two were struggling even though they were clearly smart, he and his wife investigated and discovered research that showed that up to 62% of the students today are right-brained learners, that is, they need to see and experience information.

Having helped thousands of students since then to overcome learning challenges which might have led to failed academics, medications, or worse, Mark will discuss why right-brained learners can struggle for years even when parents invest time, money and effort to help them, how right-brained learners can make dramatic progress with programs that play to their strengths and actually address their issues; and how parents can use the 5 Steps from Stress to Outrageous Success to reduce homework stress, improve reading, improve test scores, boost self-esteem and self-advocacy skills, and work collaboratively with the schools.

Go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/58174/might-your-child-be-a-right-brain-learner. Tune in at 4 PM ET, 1 PM PT Friday, or hear the recording anytime, in any format you prefer. You can also share the interview with others through social network links.

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip. One of the most important things parents can do is to play with their child. We seem so stuck on "learning" that we forget that the best lessons are learned through doing, and play is the process of exploring some activity in a safe environment where the consequences are minimal and the activity is enjoyable and fun. Kids learn games quickly for instance. If you get involved with their experience of math and history and writing, they will take to it much more quickly. Also, interpersonal interaction is a powerful way to encourage right-brain and left-brain coordination. Interaction with the parent is the strongest learning process. So take the time and enjoy play with your child from the earliest age!

Want your child to get the job she or he wants?

Listen in to Family First this Friday! Make Your Child’s Job Interview a Success. Go to this link to hear the show live or to hear or download the recording any time later:

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/56895/make-your-childs-job-interview-a-success

How can young people better prepare themselves for interviewing for jobs in this challenging market? As a society we urge our children to stay in school and get their degree so they can land a good job and become productive citizens. But in this market, finishing school is no guarantee of a job. Can your child prepare for job interviews in a way that will help him or her to really communicate his or her most valuable talents? What do employers look for in new hirees and how can our young applicants show in their interview that they are ready to do the job? My guest Joel Quass is a nationally recognized expert on this topic with years of experience interviewing applicants and now years helping others to get hired. Joel has interviewed over 1,000 people and uses that knowledge to teach people the keys to getting hired. Joel Quass will share on Family First how young people can discover their own personal assets and make them shine on their resumes and in interviews.

Simply go to:
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/56895/make-your-childs-job-interview-a-success

Joel Quass is the author of Good Management Is Not Firefighting, How to manage using what you already know. He speaks on management topics including customer service, stress in the workplace and hiring practices. Joel provides (gratis) Workshops for unemployed workers through the NJ Department of Labor One Stop-Career Center in Toms River, NJ. Joel's career in management began over 35 years ago. He has owned five businesses, including Quassword Cards, "The Crossword Puzzle Greeting Card" that he managed with his brother Brian, and Strawcastle Snax, a vending company in Williamsburg, Virginia, which he developed from $90,000 to $1/4 million in gross sales in two years. Joel is an active member of Toastmaster International and the Toms River, NJ Chamber of Commerce. Joel received a BA in Political Science from Christopher Newport University, VA, where he was the President of the Student Government, Commodore of the Sailing Club and an Adjunct Professor teaching sailing.

Author Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip: Make sure your child has had a good night sleep before an interview. The mind works much quicker and more clearly after a few good nights of sleep. And make sure they have had a meal with some protein and that they are well hydrated. Both of these too help brain function and keep the body relaxed. Say nice things about your child as they go out the door, not last minute reminders or words you think will protect them from disappointment. Help them to feel good about themselves by complimenting their outfit, hair, or energy.

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Emotional intelligence can be taught!

Many of us parents leave it to the schools to teach our children the academic smarts which will help get them into good schools or land them a good job. And we assume that their IQ, or intellectual smarts, is mostly genetic. But what about emotional smarts? Can it be measured? Can it be taught? Might it be a better predictor of future success than IQ or academic standing? What is its impact on the relationships at work and at home which can have the greatest impact on our happiness and success? Is this a kind of smarts we parents can and should foster in our children? My guest today is Harvey Deutschendorf, a trained expert in evaluating and teaching emotional intelligence. He coaches people in both their personal and business life to improve their recognition and management of their emotions in ways that can dramatically improve their lives, and in a surprisingly short time. Tune in to find out how a few simple changes can make a big difference in your work and family life. If you can't llisten live, be sure and listen to the archived show - anytime or your PC or downloadable as an MP3. Let's help our children have the saavy they need to succeed!

Go to http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/55669/how-to-teach-your-child-the-other-kind-of-smart

Harvey Deutschendorf is passionate about Emotional Intelligence and its impact on our lives and is author of the book THE OTHER KIND OF SMART, Simple Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Personal Effectiveness and Success. Harvey shares his passion in numerous presentations and to international audiences. He is certified to administer the Bar-On EQI, the first scientifically validated test for emotional intelligence approved by the American Psychological Association. Harvey comes from an extensive background in Career Development and Social Work, and he is a member of the Human Capital Institute, The Writer’s Guild of Alberta, and Toastmasters. Harvey is also a member of the Mankind Project, a men’s organization dedicated to personal improvement and community service. His mission is to help people bring more power and joy into their lives. He enjoys music, mountain hiking, travel, movies, red wine, and sharing with friends. He lives in Edmonton, Alberta CANADA.

Click on this address: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/55669/how-to-teach-your-child-the-other-kind-of-smart

Take Home Tip from author and speaker Randy Rolfe: Emotional intelligence is mostly learned from parents. So take the time to process your own reactions as a parent and try to respond constructively and authentically to each situation with your child. Modeling emotional intelligence is the best way to help kids develop it themselves. Imitation is the greatest teacher - especially between parent and child. Pick up a copy of the new edition of my book THE SEVEN SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL PARENTS and you will find oodles of examples of situations where emotional intelligence comes into play. And get a copy of Harvey's book while you are at it: THE OTHER KIND OF SMART, Simple Ways to Boost Your Emotional Intelligence for Greater Personal Effectiveness and Success.

Help your child see a positive future!

Be sure to listen in to Randy Rolfe's, that's me, inteview with Dawn Mazzone, for an amazing array of resources your chilc can use to educate himself or herself about current activities to create sustainable futures. These resources would be fabulous for school science or policy papers! Your child can't think of a fun project? Have her or him listen to this show and they will get excited! A mall modeled on a termite mound design? Wow!

Here are the details. (the show aired live August 5, 1 PM Pacific Time on VoiceAmerica Health & Wellness Channel). Log on to Listen: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/55486/environmental-awareness-for-kids-without-scaring-them-to-death

Family First

Environmental Awareness for Kids - Without Scaring Them Too Much!

Almost every day we hear of another manmade environmental problem and our children are at risk for thinking it’s hopeless to try to reverse some of the destructive trends or develop sustainable communities for the future. Yet we want our children to grow up with a sense of responsibility to the environment on which we depend for life. How do we do this without scaring them to death? And what do they think of us, the adults, who have let our economic system proceed with so little “green” consciousness? Today we will be speaking with Dawn Mazzone, sustainability advocate and expert, about this idea of living together sustainably and about the practices and thinking needed in our homes and within our families for bringing forth a more sustainable - living greater - community. Dawn is one of the growing number of thought leaders building the momentum of social change in which business performance is responsible environmentally and socially and our children are the future of business. Learn More »

Missed the Live Shows? Past Episodes are available On Demand and Podcast Ready.

Listen Live to VoiceAmerica Health & Wellness

Be sure to tune into Family First

Log on to Listen: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/55486/environmental-awareness-for-kids-without-scaring-them-to-death

Questions? Comments? Call: 1-866-472-5792

Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tip: To nurture your child's sense of responsibility towards our environment, avoid sharing every bit of bad news, but rather share the good news of how companies and groups are leading the way in changing the way we do things. help them search on the web for zero waste manufacturing, low carbon footprint buildings, where the local recycling center is, how to reduce packaging, and so on. Help them reflect on the issues they are most interested in and support them in finding ways to move forward in that field.

Help for Special Needs Kids

Please join me, Randy Rolfe, for Family First on Voice America, tomorrow, 1 PM PT, 4 PM ET, or later in archive or download, for a great discussion of how to get the educational assistance a child with special needs deserves. Many parents today find that there children need special attention because of various disabilities which make it harder for them to benefit from conventional school programs. With all the cuts in school budgets today and classroom size increasing, special education seems even harder to arrange. Yet autism and related disorders is on the increase, and we have children with hearing and visual impairment, as well as slowed development in various areas, and other health and learning impairments. There are federal and state laws that require special education programs for these children, but obtaining appropriate help can seem overwhelming. Today I am pleased to welcome a true expert in this field, Attorney Tanya Alvarado, who will help us understand what resources are available under the law, what the process looks like, and when to seek an experienced attorney to help with the process. Just about everyone knows someone who has a child who needs extra help, so do listen in. Here's the link:

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/55094/when-your-child-needs-more-special-education

Great news! I just got the first copy of the new edition of my book - The seven Secrets of Successful Parents. I have had so many parents tell me it was one of the best books they ever read on how to really tap into their own wisdom and give the best of themselves to their children. Please share this book with all the parents you know! more to come.

Take Home Tip from Randy Rolfe: The home environment is as important if not more so for kids who are finding schooling challenging. Let your child see you reading, doing figures, interacting with others. speak in normal tones and sentences, so they can pick up easily the sounds and structures of our language. Kids learn best by imitation and example by people they can trust.

Dark literature for Teens

As a parenting counselor, Randy Rolfe, that's me, has taken a great deal of interest in the lively discussion prompted by the Wall Street Journal article about the trend towards dark and graphic literature for teens. Authors of these novels say that they are helping teens deal with the dark side of life they encounter around them and make wiser choices. Authors run too from the idea of censoring these books, reminding us that we live in a society of free expression. Parents take different positions, some saying they trust their children to choose books wisely, others saying they vet or read their children's literature and sometimes discuss it, while others maintain that the stories are unnecessarily dark and give children the wrong impression of life.

Children as far back as we know have always been fascinated by the macabre, since adults seldom talk about such things with their children, unless they are trying to scare them, so there is mystery and fascination. Grimm's fairytales are pretty grim, for example. But as the author of the WSJ article pointed out, there is a definite trend towards more graphic descriptions of the ugly side of abuse and violence of all kinds. Do any of us really need to have such images in our minds, much less our kids?

One factor rarely included in these discussions is the fact that today's children have less supervision than any previous generation. With a single working parent, or two parents working sometimes three of four jobs, kids are largely unsupervised. We hear about helicopter parents, but these are not the opposite of these parents who don't supervise, they are just the ones more attached to getting the results they want to see in their children's lives. They are a result of this same trend in our society towards putting a great deal of responsibility on children to raise themselves. Helicopter parents just check up on them more. It is completely unrealistic to expect a child who gets seduced by the graphic depictions of the underside of life to realize that there are happier healthier alternatives to the startle factor in a book recommended by an admired friend at school. Instead, parents do need to stay in charge of what their teens are exposed to. That's why they are still under our roof. They still need guidance from the adult best placed to give it to them.

What comes into our house and into our children's hands is OUR responsibility. Whatever your child is reading, whatever movie they want to see, whatever friend they want to hang out with, it's our job to exert guidance, to advise, discuss, listen, and set perameters. The frequency of exposure is just as important as the substance of the material. This discussion is much like the one about violent video games. Sure we want our children to love to read, but it is our job to see that ALL their literature isn't dark, because they WILL get a skewed view of life. Sure we allow our children to play a violent video game once in a while with friends, but it is our job to see that it is not so often that they become jumpy, fearful, and inattentive, as videogame addicts do.

As a lawyer, I am sensitive to the argument that these dark books are a matter of free speech. Of course we should not prohibit them. This is not a matter for the government or the law. It is a matter for the parents. And the discussion is a critical one to have, because parents need to know what is out there, what the trends are, and what they want to do to help their children mature in a healthy way.

Take Home Tip from Randy Rolfe: Tell your children what you are reading and why and what you are getting out of it, whether fun, adventure, learning, or whatever, and then ask them about their reading. Avoid being judgmental but keep the conversation going. If their tastes are becoming too one-sided, suggest that together you explore some of your old favorites. Or take time on your own to discover contemporary books that are more in the direction you would like them to go and ask them to do you the favor of trying them out.

The impact of pets and the arts for our kids

Randy Rolfe, that's me, is pleased to address two very important elements in our homes which can have surprisingly profound effects on our children. The first is the pets we invite into our home and the second is the artistic endeavors we encourage our children to explore.

These are the topics of two great shows, the one on pets was live last week July 1, and the show on the arts is coming up tomorrow July 8! Be sure to catch them on archive or podcast if you miss the live presentation.

My guests are always highly knowledgeable and enthusiastic about their topics so don't miss these shows. They are also fun and insightful. I guarantee you will get at least one valuable little nugget from any episode of Family First on Voice America!

Here are the links to the shows.

Pets:
http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54794/what-pets-can-mean-to-your-child

Kids and the Arts:

http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/54986/why-kids-need-the-creative-arts

Tell your friends about these helpful shows! We had 6000 listeners to our first month of shows! Thanks so much and let's get some more!

Take-Home Tips from Randy Rolfe: Don't introduce kids too early to pets and don't expect them to take care of them until they are really ready. Of course kids want a kitten or puppy but unless they are old enough to understand that they are not toys, put it off. If the parent wants a pet, then it is the parent's responsibility to care for it until the child wants to help. Remember, they are wonderful creatures and demand the same care and attention that we all need!

The Secret to Parenting

The movie and book The Secret have caused a sensation around the world by telling people that their own thoughts can change their world. As a mother myself and in my more than 20 years advising parents, it has been made obvious to me that your thoughts are truly the ONLY way to change your parenting world. How you think about your child will in large part determine how you interact with him or her and how she responds to you and also to the rest of the world.


For example, if you know your child is sweating a test coming up at school, you may be thinking, "I sure hope he studies hard enough to get a good grade so he won't be disappointed." He will feel your fears and doubts. Even if you say nothing. What if instead you changed your thoughts to, "I know he will succeed at whatever he puts his mind to and if he wants to do well he will." Imagine the different vibes he will get from you without a word passing between you.


TAKE HOME TIP: A nice way to check yourself is to imagine what kind of vibes you would have liked to have from your parent in that situation. The Secret is that you attract the reaction you expect. Expect your child to manifest her best self, and she will. And never doubt it. And let her know it.

Find out more, for other specific parenting situation, in my books You Can Postpone Anything But Love, and The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents.