Freedom to Work, Rest, Play Parents today have so many pressing calls on their attention that it can be crucial to remind ourselves exactly what we are about. As in any other enterprise, and this is the most important one, the clearer we are about our basic tasks the more successful we will be. As parents, we do not have a clod of dirt on our hands that we must mold into a decent human being. Instead we have a human spirit determined to grow and manifest her or his greatness. Our task is to create a healthy environment where this can take place. Because of our superior age, knowledge, and experience, we can create that healthy environment as long as we are not distracted by an endless array of other "shoulds." Like a bigger house, more cars, a better school, a more up-to-date phone, a better position on the team, a better job or income for the bread-winner, and so on. Not that these aren't important, they just need to be held in their proper place of priority. So what is a healthy environment for our child? Let's take the school-age child, for example. She or he needs exactly what we want too for ourselves: the freedom to do meaningful work, to get the rest and relaxation we need, and to have the place and time to play and have fun. If we keep these priorities in mind, scheduling becomes easier, setting reasonable rules becomes easier, and encouraging contribution to the chores of a home also becomes an integral part of family life. But we, as the parents, must understand that we are the rule-makers in our own home. Too many parents today assume they are supporting their children by letting them have absolute freedom. If this worked, nature would not have put us in change for 10 to 20 years, depending on your culture. To give just one example of a need for parental limits, a recent study, which included thousands of people around the world, demonstrated that when you go to bed is much more important for getting the rest you need, than what time you get up. For parents that means setting a bedtime which is 8 to 9 hours before the child must get up, and this is up to you. When I was a child, my pre-school teacher asked my mother why I was so easy-going and never got cranky in school. Mom told her that she didn't really know, but that we were sent outside to play every afternoon for a couple of hours and were tucked into bed at 8 every night. Today, parents must shut off video games, smart phones, and initiate a real conversation eye to eye to create a healthy environment for proper sleep. But it is worth it. I had many family counseling clients who were amazed that parenting issues like bad attitude, poor school performance, and "laziness" were often completely eliminated by seeing that the child had enough sleep. In my book The Seven Secrets of Successful Parents, you can find the other eleven basic needs of children, besides good sleep. As many have said before, freedom must be coupled with discipline. But not discipline of the children so much as self-discipline of the parents. Set a good example in your own life, be gentle but consistent and persistent, make a healthy environment a given in your home, and parenting will be a whole lot easier.  Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: Remember your child wants the wisdom and protection only you can provide, whether it appears that way at the moment or not. Be patient, listen, and then be clear what your rules and standards are. For more, visit my new websites! http://motherhoodtools.com and http://parenthoodtools.com.

Can Parents Get in the Zone?

Family First VoiceAmerica™

Athletes have their zone, writers have their flow, children have their play – are these related? Is there a zone for parents? What if parents could parent from a place of self-less absorption and complete engagement in the moment? Could they tap into an intelligence much deeper than any book, expert, or training could provide? My guest this week on Family First is Michael Mendizza, author of Magical Parent-Magical Child, the Art of Joyful Parenting, with Joseph Chilton Pearce. Michael’s work helps adults rediscover the "playful" and "childlike" genius of their own innate intelligence, as they guide, learn from and mentor children, which results in a radically different learning environment for children, transforming both child and parent and creating what Michael calls the Optimum Learning Relationship. Michael will share valuable insights from his 25 years of personal relationships with scientists, authors, visionary educators and athletes and his more than 100 taped interviews with them, now online.

Family First is broadcast live on Fridays at 4 PM ET, 3 PM CT, 2 PM MT, and 1 PM PT, and then it is also archived for listening any time, or for download, podcast, RSS, MP3, apps, and embedding in any website or social network. Clikc on the link above, or go to the specific show page at: http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/60192/can-parents-get-in-the-zone.

Michael Mendizza is an author, educator, documentary filmmaker and founder of Touch the Future, a nonprofit learning design center. Michael is preparing two additional books; Kids Are Not The Problem, a series of essays on parenting the next critical generation, and Flowering, a collection of dramatic floral images and quotes by Krishnamurti. Inspiration for his work emerged from his own experience as a father and personal relationships with Pearce, physicist David Bohm, philosopher J. Krishnamurti, and many others. If being in an optimum state is important to professional athletes, imagine what this could mean to parents, childcare providers, educators, coaches and the children they love. Michael writes and speaks internationally on many topics, including the Next Frontier in Education, The Intelligence of Play, Media and the Brain, Corporate Exploitation of Children, The Brave New World of Un-Schooling, The Childlike Mind, Rational Imagination, and Raising Children in a Sport-Crazed Culture.

Listen in to hear Michael Mendizza's valluable insights on parenting. Listen in Friday, at 4 PM ET or 1 PM PT or any time afterwards, at http://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/60192/can-parents-get-in-the-zone.


Randy Rolfe's Take Home Tips: As Plato said, we all know what we need to know already, education is simply the process of bringing our inner intelligence into our consciousness so that we can act on it. it is the same with parenting. Don't let all the would be experts pull you away from your nurturing instincts about how to love and support your child. Parenting is fun and is meant to be rewarding every day. If your child knows you feel that way, he or she will respond accordingly and enjoy being a child and looking forward to growing up to be like you!